JINGHAN(:

2012-01-24T22:38:00.001+08:00

Best part of visiting over CNY is finally seeing my cousin whom I haven't met in probably 2 years. It's pretty special considering that we've had a few family gatherings interspersed over the 2 years, and that I've met my cousins living in New Zealand more times than I've met this particular cousin. [Who happens to live a 10min walk away from RJ by the way.] Basically, it just felt good seeing him again, even if it was just for a short little while.

If my brother and I ever have kids, I would like them to stay as close as possible and not drift apart.

I guess as we grow older, we start seeing the cracks more clearly.

Really don't get why my parents still think that I'm a small kid and that I shouldn't go around meddling in "大人的事情" because the fact that I've noticed and bothered to ask means that I've grown to the point where I think this is important because it concerns my family and hence, I am worried. After all, the number and magnitude of our worries seems to grow with age, does it not?

Rushing out homework right now, pictures from CNY will have to wait.

Don't really like posed photos that much, doesn't show who we really are behind that grin or goofy face.

2012-01-23T17:54:00.000+08:00

Trying to stay calm but seriously this is pushing it do you have no sense at all? You as a visitor have no right to invite yourself into my room, rearrange my books and files, and happily lay on my bed. MY. FUCKING. BED. Yes I am anal about things like my personal space and I do not appreciate you invading my room like this, and using the things in my room as though they belong to you. Screw the fact that you're my aunt because I only see you this ONCE a year. Don't treat me like someone you can step on just because you're my relative because if you saw me as your niece and hence, your family, you would make the effort to visit us on weekends. Seeing as you do not, DON'T BOTHER. Ugh I want to throw you out of my room right this instant but it's freaking CNY and I have to respectful and yadda yadda yadda well fine, but mind being respectful to my stuff in return? AND MY SPACE. It's my room, so I would appreciate it if you don't talk so loudly in my room, don't watch your videos at maximum volume in my room, don't bother me in my room, stop kicking my bedstand, PUT BACK MY PHONE CHARGER AFTER YOU REMOVE IT UGHHHHHH WHY DO I HAVE TO CLEAN UP AFTER YOU WHEN YOU INVADED MY PRIVACY.

2012-01-19T01:34:00.000+08:00

HOW AM I STILL AWAKE? Gym must have made me high haha adrenalin pumping through my veinsssss woohoo!

2012-01-18T21:28:00.005+08:00

Feels good to be back in training again. (: Can't do proper squats with the barbell for nuts but it's okay training the upper body strength is good too. Did the assisted chin-up thingy in the gym and it's so FUN. Omg seriously hahaha if I had time in school I would totally do that. [Unfortunately there is manymany homework including a Math Assignment I just got via email life is awesome. -sarcasm-] Feels a little odd doing the higher intensity stuff, like instead of benchpress now we're doing some fly thing HAHAHA okay forgot what it's called but idk feels harder than benchpress, especially when we're only doing 8kg compared to 20kg for benchpress! Please let my ankle get better quickly I hate shuffling around school in an ankle guard.

Tons of homework to do. I even thought I was actually pretty ahead of the class in terms of tutorial-doing but I guess not. And I quote: "It's not that we are fast, but everyone else is slow." Sounds a little harsh, but that pretty much sums things up. This is our year, our turn, no way out. Hate being so dumb I'd probably get all the work we have done in half the time I'm taking now if I were smarter. Spent like an hour doing Halogen Derivatives SELF-CHECK. Excluding time taken to flip through the notes [which are agonizingly messy and disorganised and DONOTLIKE] which means I probably spent 2 hours. On 8 supposedly easy-peasy questions.

Sigh.

I just hope I don't break down this year. Pleasepleaseplease keep yourself together.

2012-01-17T22:24:00.002+08:00

SIMPLE PLAN WAS AWESOME!
A little lag on posting about it but yeah school, homework, blahblahblah. I'm still a little high over finally watching them perform live hehe like they're probably only the second band that I've watched live in my memory. [First one being MCR back in Sec1.]
Being in a moshpit outdoors was a little stuffy haha. Uneven ground, no constant wind/aircon, hot, sticky, sweaty bodies being mooshed up against one another and jumping in time with the music while frantically waving arms and lightsticks around. It was all good.
David was being horny half the time, Pierre was probably half-horny too, crotchgrab -squee- HAHAHA, Summer Paradise's wooden blocks, got splashed by water from the bottle Pierre drank from then flung into the crowd [Not quite as close as Maya's water-spewing moment but at least this time I actually got a couple of droplets hahahaha.], jumped like a maniac, probably not so good for the ankle but right now, my calves and right shoulder hurts more from all the jumping and arm-waving.
It was money well-spent. (:
[Although there were these annoying girls but ah whatever.]

School sucks a lot right now. ): Can't imagine how it'll be like once I get back to training [which is tomorrow yay gymmmm] and end up being a lot more tired than usual, and also having less time to do homework. Which is what I'll probably end up spending CNY doing. 10 months guys, 10 months.

2012-01-12T22:53:00.001+08:00

FINISHED THE DAMNED ARENES TUTORIAL BOOYEAH.

Anyway to summarise the past week, Friday was Open House + Homecoming prep with MT where we did a paper mache volcano which was AWESOME. Saturday was FAREWELL! It was fun haha met up with Attan and Yining at Nex to buy food then waited for the rest to come before trooping off to Yining's house, which is super big and nice omg! Love it hahaha. Missing the seniors super a lot now. ): Played Pass the Parcel, which was quite funny hahaha can't believe Attan spat out water. XD Oh and played Taboo too and there was one where Sherly [I think] was trying to get us to say the word "ape" so she described it like "Looks like us!" and Seow shouted out damn confidently "KOREANS!" OMGGGG LAUGHED DAMN MADLY hahaha. Sunday had my twin cousins over and haha had fun just talking with them in my room, because they didn't want to go to my brother's - quote - "stinky room". Aha. I'm not the only one who thinks that. Hmph take that oh-so-deluded brother of mine. They are freaking obssessed with ManCity just saying. Cannot tahanz. Rawr. [Ohwell guess who beat ManCity recently~ Although that was a bad match seriously 1 man down and City could still score wth.] Hm Monday was Homecoming waste time only sighz then had Open House prep for MT and then went to do the Netball booth with Ann and Grace and Yining and after that we just slacked around and played random things hehe. :D Guys are addicted to using our Netballs to shoot, seriously. Open House was sian, since no one really came to the Netball booth, and just did the cheering stuff with MT which was quite coolz haha. Yeah then school started yesterday. Fun, not. Met the new GP teacher he seems quite nice, and he uses rather cheem words and idiom-ish phrases so hopefully that means my vocabulary will somehow expand HAHA. Today, we also met our new Chem teacher and well, he claims to be rather mean and strict, but he seems pretty funny so far, and didn't really scold us for not doing our Arenes Tutorial, so...well, we'll see.

I WANT TO RUN AND EXERCISE AND CLIMB THE STAIRS WITHOUT FEELING PAIN.

2012-01-12T18:39:00.002+08:00

Ankle still dead it hurts still hurts I want to bloody run and do gym and play but I can't because of this dead thing attached to my leg why.

2012-01-11T00:00:00.000+08:00

Hopefully by this time, I'll have finished all of the following:

~~Bio Genetic Variation Tutorial~~
~~Bio Cell Structure MCQ~~
Bio Cell and Nuclear Division MCQ
Bio DNA and Genomics MCQ
Bio Viruses MCQ
Bio Respiration MCQ
Bio Photosynthesis MCQ
Bio Bacteria MCQ
Bio Pro&Euk MCQ
Bio Genetic Variation MCQ
Bio ICS MCQ
~~Bio Holiday Assignment~~
Chem Arenes Tutorial
Chem Halogenoalkanes Tutorial
~~Math Differential Equations Tutorial~~
Math P&C Tutorial
Math Tuition Corrections
~~Econs KEI Activity 1~~
~~Econs Tuition Essay~~

I shall not be daunted! HEAR ME ROAR.

[edit]Evidently I am very reluctant to start with Bio.[/edit]
[edit2]Evidently I am going to be unable to finish all these in the next 87minutes. Ohwell.[/edit2]

2012-01-05T20:29:00.001+08:00

To be able to think logically from a separate standpoint.

Just what do I want, really?

2012-01-02T23:26:00.002+08:00

Funny how your vocabulary seems to expand drastically when you're angry. Huh. It's like the hormones or endorphins and things like that trigger some reaction that opens up some latent portion of your brain which is where all the obscure, rarely-used words are stored and they all just come flooding out.

2012-01-02T20:06:00.003+08:00

Thank you beloved right ankle for letting me down for the umpteenth time.

2012-01-01T22:47:00.003+08:00

Whatever, just get mad at me for losing a button on the first day of 2012. A small, insignificant little piece of plastic being a good enough reason for you to call me irresponsible. I'm just going to walk away from you everytime you start doing something completely irrational now because there's just no point in arguing with you anymore.

What a wonderful start to the new year. Whoopdeedoo.

2011-12-31T12:21:00.002+08:00

Well, okay haven't really done Bio omg. ):
On Thursday I wound up helping my mum with spring cleaning and shifting my bookshelves and we found this dead cockroach behind one of them like omggg. And I managed to get rid of the old books that belonged to my dad and aunt but somehow wound up being in my bookshelves. Need to file my old worksheets too, like those from Sec4 but were still dumped in that space under my bed haha. Then we were going to go to White Sands coz my mum promised me a mani/pedi session but when I found out the price was like around 50bucks I decided against it, and wound up buying 3 bottles of nail polish for 5bucks instead haha. (Y) Then bought some stuff at Cotton On for 60bucks - two button shirts and two tank tops. :D [See Zach, this is how you save money when buying things.] Bought socks too, hee. :3

Friday's training was pretty fun, just played games with NUS the whole time. Didn't have to shoot at all coz I played WA for like the three quarters that I played hehe. And Ama, Xinyi and Parvs came down to train with us too wheee~ :D Well, I would say court stamina got better, but then again I wasn't playing GA so I didn't have to do as much D-movements which I'd say is more tiring. So, yeah. OHWELL.

Had dinner at Nex with Jiaa, Shin, and Banana. It was...eventful hahaha. Ate at Mad Jacks and even though we ordered before Banana came and made her order, Banana still got her food first, and ours still hadn't come for like 40mins? Then we [or rather Jiaa] complained to the staff then we got free dessert hahahaha. (Y) But still so annoying that they lost our receipt how can that happen huhhh. And we played CSI over dinner haha so amusing ohgosh. And psychopathic. I like games like this. XD Then moved to Macs where we could lepak there and just talk a lot, and then Banana spilt a cup of ice lemon tea and Shin managed to get another cup for free HAHAHA. It was nice, just talking to each other and hanging out. [And suanning Jiaa half the time ahahaha.]

NEW YEAR'S EVE OMG.

2011-12-28T23:31:00.002+08:00

I WILL FINISH ALL THE OPEN-ENDED BIO SHIZ TOMORROW. I WILL. AND THEN PLOW THROUGH ALL THE MCQS.

Bio Genetic Variation Tut
Bio online thingy
Bio MCQs
Econs tuition
Chem Arenes
Math P&C

2011-12-28T22:20:00.000+08:00

Back from Batam! Hahaha yay alliteration. :D
So, left for Harbour Front to take the ferry to some Sekupang place, where the tour guide was there in the bus waiting for us to bring us to Turi Beach Resort. :D Comfy 1 hour bus ride there hehe. Reached at 12ish but check-in time was only at 2! [And there was this super annoying guy who kept complaining about how he wanted a room even though it was 2 hours before check-in time. Can't he just go eat lunch or walk around the resort first? Ugh one of the things that ruined the holiday trip was other Singaporeans.]
Walked around the new wing of the resort [Which we weren't staying in, fortunately/unfortunately.] before heading to the cafe to have lunch! :D Ate carbonara, which wasn't good, at all. ): So disappointed sigh. Went back to the lobby and got the keys to our rooms! And by keys I really mean keys. Not even card keys, but keys like metal keys. And our rooms were like in hut-like houses haha. So we had two rooms, one for my parents and one for me and Zach. And the rooms were quite cool!

Like there were mosquito nettings on the beds!

And the roof was just wood and grass. I'm sure there should be plastic/waterproof stuff somewhere up there too otherwise we'd be dead if it rained.
The only downside to the rooms would be...the lizards. My brother was just petrified of them haha it was quite amusing actually. And they actually provided Baygon for us to kill insects/lizards with! [Darn it should have taken a photo of it hahaha.] But yeah basically my role in our room was lizard chaser-away. Fun.
After that we just slacked in our rooms and watched TV/slept until it was dinnertime. XD Watched Karate Kid and How To Train Your Dragon on HBO hee.
Had dinner at the same cafe place [Actually we just ate at that same place for the entire trip, way to monopolise the tourists' moolah.] and this time I tried their 咸鱼炒饭 which was a lot nicer, and they had the fried prawn thingy which was uber yummy! :D
Went back to the room and my parents crashed there too, and we fell asleep after watching some movie which I can't remember now.

Day 2! Woke up bright and early at 7 [8 in Singapore time haha.] and bathed and had breakfast buffet! WOOHOO. Shoved a gazillion potato wedges down my throat. [Hence, gaining weight, sigh.] After which we decided to walk around the area and headed to the boardwalk, which was mad scary coz there weren't railings and it was just this elevated walkway with waves crashing into the side of it and it sometimes splashed all over the walkway so we could've gotten wet/washed away! And the waves were super strong okay. Walked all the way to some other resort haha like invasion of territory or something, then I think we came to some place with landed property or something like that, before deciding to walk down this other boardwalk which looked more safe coz there weren't giant waves. (Y) But there were more mosquitoes and I had more than 10 mosquito bites by the time we went back to our room. ):
Went to swim after that and the swimming pool water was MEGA FREEZING. No kidding. Not to mention the sea breeze was already super strong. But after a while, we got used to it, and started playing with my dad's special hacky-sack-like-ball which could bounce on the water! Hehehehe then we played like some modified handball thing, where the opposite ends of the pools were the goal mouths and we took turns trying to score "goals" with my brother and I on one team and my dad on the other. My dad is a PRO. 'Nuff said.
After showering, went to play pool! Well actually just my brother and dad played, I suck at pool so I didn't really want to play, while my mum totally didn't want to, so we sat there sipping drinks. [I had a Shirley Temple, I like. :3] I actually wanted to go to the spa and get a mani/pedi, but they include massages in their package which makes it cost $45 for EITHER a mani OR a pedi, and $85 for both, so obviously I decided against it. So, after my dad and bro got sick of pool, we went to stone at the poolside where I started camwhoring with my parents hahahaha. Well hey, we had to pass time since we had to wait for the dinner buffet to start. In the end I just ate fish and chips because if I had the buffet, it would be a waste of money because it was seafood buffet and I don't really like shellfish-related food. Except for prawns.
Headed back to our rooms and my brother crashed early, like at 8ish haha. I continued watching more TV until I crashed at 10plus. When I woke up again, it was just past midnight? And my brother was up watching TV again hahahaha. Watched Salt I think? It was an okay movie, didn't really like the ending. Then my brother fell asleep again hahaha so I stayed up and went to CNA's channel and waited for the sports update, and saw that ManCity drew their match while ManUtd won 5-freaking-0 and celebrated like some weirdo in the room by bouncing on my bed and making it squeak hahahaha. (Y) Then read a bit of The Sacred Book of the Werewolf, which at this point, I'm only reading for the sake of finishing the book. Not really my type of book I guess, coz it requires a whole bunch of background knowledge, particularly on Russian history and its path to its post-Soviet-ness, and there were a lot of references made to random articles/literature which I don't understand [and didn't bother to Google either.] so yeah. But it did broaden my vocabulary quite a bit hahaha so I guess it's not all in vain. [OHMYGOSH I HAVEN'T READ BLOODLINES AHHHHHH.] Then I worked on JoSD. :3 Happy night it was!

Woke up for breakfast on the last day in Batam. ANOTHER BUFFET WHOOOO~ Ate more hashbrowns and ham and drank lotsa orange juice ah life is good. Didn't have much time to do anything else so we just went back to the room and packed our stuff, watched movies [Rapunzel and Spiderman hehehehe Rapunzel is a super good movie second time watching it and it still captivates me so~] and then headed to the lobby to checkout! Which was super fast. Just pass them the keys and collect your deposit then it's done hahaha. Then waited for the tour bus to pick us up and bring us to the jetty, where we got our ferry tickets then went to shop a bit. My brother bought this polo shirt, and he was the only one who bought something. That boy...sigh.
Anyway had a rather unpleasant wait to board the ferry because some annoying people kept cutting queue okay. I was just like damn pissed off already, then this middle-aged dude cut the queue RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. And he had the bloody cheek to turn and look at me, so I stared at him, pointedly, like trying to mentally beam a message to him like "GO BURN IN HELL" or something like that. He stayed in the queue but avoided looking in my direction after that. Annoying assholes. And then when we got onto the ferry, we were lucky to get seats for all four of us that were together. There were people who took up like more seats than necessary by putting their bags on the seat next to them. Bags, okay. Handbags, backpacks, that kind of bag, not the ginormous luggage bag type. I was just mad annoyed at the passengers already lah. Then got this elderly man and his family who boarded the ferry and couldn't find a seat because all the bags were occupying the available seats and he had to sit in the upper deck and it took him eons to climb up the stairs. Sigh.
So yeah headed back to Singapore, with a freaky ferry ride because it rained and the waters were choppy and the ferry was swaying quite violently from side to side! But all is well and we made it back safe and sound. (:

Macritchie training was eventful today. Fallen tree, crazy fast briskwalking angmoh, Dawne and Xinyi's funny sotong-ness, hung out at floorball training for a while, springcleaning my room, found lotsa interesting things, yay cleaner room. (:

2011-12-22T21:47:00.000+08:00

So, went out today! :D Supposed to be a proper dickies outing but Anna and Nurul last minute couldn't make it. ): Ohwell no matter we shall always plan another one! Whee~
Met up with Joey at Orchard first coz Twinneh was at Taka shopping hahaha. Arranged to meet her at the fountain and when we got there we were looking around for her and couldn't find her! Until we saw this glam person walk up to us and we were like WHOAAA. -wags eyebrows- HAHAHA. So yeah walked around Taka for a bit before realising we were gonna be late for Sherlock Holmes! Then Twinneh led the way by powerwalking all the way from Taka to Lido which was insane haha she walks mad fast I swear! When we got into the theatre I was sweating HAHA.
Overall the movie was pretty good! The vibe I get from it is like a POTC thing, but more intellectual-ish haha. Does that make sense? And I like how the whole thing ties together right at the end! It's like all those innocuous scenes that take place weren't so innocuous after all. Initially we were all "OMG BAHAHA THIS IS SO FUNNAYE" but in the end we realise what it's true purpose was and we become "OMG I AM MINDBLOWN" at how awesome it was.
Went to Sakae after that, where Angie met up with us, and we talked and ate and laughed at how retarded we all were and yeah, it was just plain old fun times. Wonder if we'll ever get to do something like this again next year. [Well okay after A's maybe haha.] But it was nice. (:
Twinneh wanted to go to A&F after that to check out the store, so we went! On the way though we saw this guy with the CUTEST DOG I'VE EVER SEEN. It was a cute little toy poodle! And well generally I don't like poodles, but this one didn't have its fur shaved in weird ways so it was cute. And brown. AND FURRY OMGGG. And I got to carry it ehehehe. X3 It kept trying to lick my face though haha nearly gave away my first kiss to a little dog. Heh.
Anyway A&F wasn't much. Overpriced stuff, half-naked guy standing at the entrance of the shop for you to take a polaroid with, too bloody dark in there to actually see anything, and there isn't enough space for people to walk around in it. No wonder there's a queue outside lah, the place is too small for a lot of people to go in, even if it's three storeys. Either way the queue is a good way to get people's attention since Singaporeans all quite kiasu got queue will want to queue even if they don't really know what they're queuing up for.
So yup went home after that, and it was a really great day just chilling and having fun with friends and eating a buffet without a care in the world! [But tomorrow got training must make sure I exercise haha. Then again it's the carnival thing so FUNZ woohoo!] Hopefully we get to do something like this again soon, but with full attendance. YOU HEAR ME GUYS? -shakes fist-

2011-12-21T22:28:00.002+08:00

Been a busybusy week so far! I find this slightly compelling need to remember what I've been doing this holiday so that I shall feel guilty about not studying as much as I wanted to. HOLIDAYS END IN LIKE LESS THAN 3 WEEKS WTP HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE.
So, Sunday had tuition, which was good and bad at the same time. I DID GOOD FOR MY ESSAYS HEEHEE. 23/25 and 20/25! -feels accomplished- At least labouring at the dining table on Thursday didn't come to naught! But then had to do the A level questions and they were so !@#$%^&* there was one question that required you to talk about scarcity + dd&ss + market failure like wtp how about no. Have to do that question though sigh. On the plus side I'll only be seeing my tuition teacher like, on the 8th hahaha. Can't remember what I did on Sunday afternoon omg. OH. Went to Longbeach at ECP for dinner coz my uncle and aunt and cousins came back from New Zealand hehe. :3
Monday! Went for training at RGS but it was raining so we did physical stuff like 20min run, which wasn't that bad, and a lot of medicine ball stuff which made my arms ache the following day. Oh, and core, which was so bad oh dear lord. Went shopping with my mum and bro after! Silly boy made my mum spend around $450 on him tch. On A|X shirt and belt, and a pair of jeans that cost more than $200 [Although admittedly I would say the material was really good and well, jeans are meant to last really long so it's okay. But seriously why wear jeans in Singapore when it's raining all the time now and it'll just get wet.] and a pair of pointed-toe shoes. The shoes he bought only because my mum got a $10 voucher from buying the jeans and she insisted on using it for something I wanted to buy because I hadn't bought anything [Was looking for a black vest but sigh vests for girls vvv difficult to find and the ones we saw weren't similar to the oneI had in mind.] so I bought a pair of light red Vans hehe. :3 And it cost less than $50 okay wtp is my brother doing.
Mugged at Northpoint with Joey and Angie haha MEGA PRODUCTIVE. Left with 1 question for the Bio tutorial for Genetic Variation hee. Still got a long way to go but hey, PROGRESS!
Today's training was bad. Run at Macritchie, mega bad stitches, wet muddy ground icky gross blech. Badbadbad. Indulged in moments of self-hate after the run. Sigh. Anyway, impromptu decision to go to my uncle's house in Queenstown after training because coincidentally met my mum and brother at White Sands on the way home haha. Played games on their iPad [Seriously they have an iPad.] and watched Bleach with them and ate food. Lots. Of. Food. NO REGRETS.
Going out again tomorrow hehe. Please let there be more sun/wind so clothes can dry running out of non-sports-bras to wear!

2011-12-18T01:13:00.001+08:00

WORDS FAIL TO FLOW. -is sad-
On the plus side I had a really fun week hehe. Morning training at RGS, stairs sucked shiz, but ohwell played game, lunch at Pastamania, hot A&F guys teehee. Ultimate boredom on Tuesday, okay not quite, but nothing much. Gym, muscle aches, core, fun, MingMing came back [!!!!], nomz Starbursts hehe. DID TWO ECONS ESSAYS, TWO, finished at 11plus at night, accomplished! Macritchie run, tiring, slopes, hate slopes, didn't stop though, so it's good, core was bad, elbow on rock sigh, movie marathon with Ann-Ann after, One Day and Princess Protection Programme hahaha, fun, dinner with family at Orchard, ate steak WHOAAAA, t'was yummy very muchly. Watched Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, very good, and funny, RC Christmas celebration, got dragged to play Xmas Bingo wtpz, and then got hit in the face with a mic, and dragged to learn the cha-cha, but ohwell, food was good.
Still behind on POKEDDEX, but I'm starting to do work! Like reading Econs AD/AS notes, and rereading Bio notes, in general haha. Building up to HARDCORE MUGGING FOR A'S. Whoopdeedoo.
My baby cousin is really cute, just saying. :3

2011-12-15T20:42:00.006+08:00

So, explain to me how one innocent comment about my brother's room smelling funky evolve into you lecturing me about how if I don't tidy my own room it will be the same? The point is my room doesn't smell like my brother's, so why lecture me when it should be my brother you lecture? Make sense you menopausal woman.
And now you wonder why I'm suddenly not answering you, and scold me for that. Seriously?

2011-12-14T23:46:00.000+08:00

I am making a decision to be uber-productive tomorrow! Been spending the past few days being bored to death and that is not good, not good at all. Gotta start doing something about it and well, I guess it's about time we started doing serious business. Hence:

Finish Econs tuition homework so that I can spend Friday and Saturday being a happy kid
Do up to-do list for holiday homework
Catch up with POKEDDEX!! [If there's time after ploughing through Econs. Heh.]

Had gym today, and it feels good. (: I can do bench presses much better now! I think. Had to rest on the 8th rep on the third set, but other than that it was okay! And gotta start doing core stuff at home now sigh sigh sigh couldn't even do rowboat for 30 reps consecutively. On the plus side I was not-dehydrated for once, and actually put on 0.15kg hahaha. Is that even supposed to happen?

No sushi buffet tomorrow, but it's okay next week it is then! :D

2011-12-11T19:53:00.001+08:00

Will. You. Stop. Ugh.

All over a bloody loaf of bread just stop already seriously.

2011-12-10T10:45:00.001+08:00

Mum needs to stop PMSing on me the moment I wake up. She doesn't start her day well, I don't start my day well, it's not good for anyone in the family. Bet she's menopausal. Pssht.

Anyway I'm super behind time for POKEDDEX but I will catch up eventually! It's just that right now I'm chugging along just fine for JoSD and I just wanna keep going. Like finally, after months of being stuck and having to sluggishly plow along and suddenly it's like some EUREKA moment and everything just flows! It's like freaking cycling uphill, trying to make your way to the top. Sometimes you end up taking a break and stop pedalling, but you forget to put your feet down and you end up sliding back down a couple of metres so you just gotta keep going and resting, going and resting. And finally, finally you reach the top of the hill and you just free-cycle all the way down without much effort.
It's exhilarating, really.

2011-12-07T23:55:00.000+08:00

So, sleepover at Joey's house! :D
Took 39 all the way to Yishun Interchange and amazingly it took only half an hour to get to Yishun woohoo life is good. Met Joey at Northpoint then went to buy tickets for Breaking Dawn Part 1 before scurrying back into Northpoint [and avoiding dead, squished cockroach on the way] to buy food to sneak into the theatre, then scurrying back to GV to watch the movie. :3
Well, overall I guess it was pretty okay. Can't say much about it except that the CG/makeup/whatever effects they did to Bella was really, really good. Totally freaked Joey and I out when we saw her being all frail and sickly and there was just no way she could have lost that much weight just for the movie. So yeah. And I'm looking forward to seeing Renesmee! She looked really pretty in the imprinting scene. :D
So after that we had lunch at Pizza Hut and ate and talked a lot, and swatted random flies that kept buzzing around our food, before going to Joey's house! :D Showed Joey the vids of Infinite's Sesame Player and yay SungYeol totally appeals to people okay, just that he doesn't get enough screen time. And yes, SungJong is freaky. ): I also showed her SNSD's HMF videos, where they were at the abandoned school and had to act out scenes haha it was freaky. But Rodin made everything better! :D In turn Joey showed me the WGM couple's battle thing haha omg Adam couple is total win. Loved how JoKwon totally joined all the Sadakos and like...crawled on the floor with them hahaha. And Khuntoria is mad cute ahhh I want a protective guy like that too!
Watched Harry Potter and the Soceror's Stone after that hehe they used to be so cute and adorable and ahhh. And Hermione's hair used to be...very big. And we were like mimicking how people like Snape and Draco Malfoy go "Potter" in that tone of theirs hahaha.
After that we were a bit the gong already so not really in the mood to continue watching the next movie, so we started stoning because there wasn't anything fun to do! Well okay we watched a couple of funny Youtube videos and cute kids, but yeah there isn't much to do online anymore. ):
Had dinner and bathed, and in the end we just played random games like word games. Very intellectual stuff y'know! Like the one called Splitter omg we were going mad because we couldn't solve the puzzles then in the end we mostly anyhow whacked, and kept making encouraging sounds and sweeping motions with our hands to egg the ball to roll into that portal thing HAHAHA. Because it totally works k. Oh, and of course, we camwhored and experimented with the apps on Joey's new phone. ;D

The best one we took hehe. :D With the nice effect!

This one was the one with the neoprint-like stuff I think, that's why we could add in the key image [Hee.] and words.

PIGTAILS WHEEE~

And our favourite fisheye! XD

After that, at about 3plus, we decided we should go to sleep. [Haha sorry Joey for keeping you up like 6 hours after your normal bedtime. :X] AND JOEY HAS A POKEMON BLANKET! Which she let me use. :3

Me being uber-elated to sleep with a Pikachu blanket. :D

So yeah, before we slept we still talked about random stuff, like the movie, and Hunger Games being a movie, and considering reading the book series, but waiting for the movie to come out. And then we talked about VA and HON being made into movies and we both agreed that we cannot visualise Dimitri being hot in the movie, because long hair does not generally translate into hotness for us. [Except for Taemin, but that's coz Taem looks feminine.] And then we tried to remember what was the main events that occurred in each of the books in VA but we couldn't really remember what happened in Frostbite haha. Oh and the best part was we got mad disturbed when we couldn't remember what Lenobia's human horse assistant was called! [Travis Foster.] Had to Google it in the darkness of the room before we could sleep in peace haha.
In the end, we slept at around 4.48am. Hehe. I woke up at almost 11.30 omg. Joey woke up at 10plus haha. But the room we slept in was very cozy! And the curtains are like orangey/pink-ish and that made the light in the room look like it was still early morning so everytime I woke up [twice] I kept thinking I could still sleep for another hour or so HAHA.
Had brunch, then continued with Chamber of Secrets! Hermione's hair got more tamed, Ginny looked mega funny when she saw Harry at her house haha, and yeah. It's really different watching the movies again when you're older, and you've actually gone through the whole series. All the things you never really understood are like finally revealed or something. O_O
After that we were gong again so decided to rest, and watched TV instead haha. Looked through allkpop after that and watched U-KISS' Tick Tack MV [Which has oodles of Kevin in it yay~] and it's pretty good eh. :D Then had dinner, and played Need for Madness which was some Miniclip game I played back in primary school with my brother like omg reliving the good ol' days haha.
So yup, that was it. Movie marathon didn't really go as planned, like haha can't believe we actually thought we could chiong through all 8 movies, but hey, 3 movies in 2 days is a good track record for us jaded people who have shortened attention spans and minds that have been weighed down by the constant need for good grades.

Anyhow, here's POKEDDEX for the 7th!

Butterfree! :D It's my favourite Bug-type because it was actually useful to me for a while. Kept spamming it against the random Fighting and Grass Pokemon when it learnt Gust hee. :D That, and it's rather easy to draw. Bonus!

2011-12-06T01:28:00.001+08:00

Well-spent Monday, if I may say so myself. (: Well duhh spent the whole day with my family, which is how rare seriously. On a weekday too. In the end, instead of brunch, we all missed breakfast and just went for lunch at Tampines instead hahaha. :D
Ate overpriced kopitiam food at T1, seriously don't eat there. The food is mega expensive and not worth your money at all. After that, to allow our food to digest, we went around T1 shopping! Didn't really buy anything but sigh there were clothes I wanted but figured they were way expensive even with the Xmas discounts. Like that vest from Esprit which even after discount was 30bucks freaking hell a vest covers less but costs more than a shirt what sense does this make? Saw this pair of really nice wedges though and considering that I'm not normally attracted to shoes that aren't sneakers...it's saying something. Might have bought it, since it was actually pretty reasonably priced, but after a bit of consideration, I figured I wouldn't have the chance to wear it often enough to make it worth the money. So, no.
In the end my dad was the biggest spender haha. He bought a pair of shoes and 3 pairs of pants and spent like about 300bucks? Oh and we bought chocolates hehe moar mint chocos for meee~ :D

Anyway I'm late for POKEDDEX for 5th so I figured might as well draw 6th as well~

By far the most difficult Pokemon to draw so far. Probably because Swampert has a lot of details in its design and it's all rounded, so no real sharp edges and lines. Hated the limbs the most oh gosh. Its right arm and leg still look deformed to me even though I redrew them like 5 times. ): Ohwell. I'm pretty proud of it's face and its left side so, meh.
Anyway Swampert's my favourite Ground-type Pokemon because it seriously kicks some Pokemon butt. And when you teach it Blizzard it just owns all the Grass-type Pokemon haha. :D Just saying I have a Swampert in my LeafGreen cartridge wheee~

Thought it would be pretty tough to draw Tyranitar but it turned out better than expected! :D The tail still looks weird but I had to draw it pointing up coz I didn't have space for it to be flat down. Ohwell. Initially it looked obese haha but I managed to fix it, so all is well! :D
Well actually even though it's my favourite Rock-type, my current Tyranitar doesn't really have a Rock-type attack. Whoops. If I'm not wrong, it knows Thrash, Earthquake, Crunch and Thunderbolt. Eheh. But still, I love my Tyranitar to bits! And it's level 100 by the way. Muaha.

And yeah my hand after drawing. ):

Gonna be sleeping over at Joey's for one night! Watching Breaking Dawn Part 1 at Northpoint HAHA what on earth am I doing there mans. On the plus side at least I have a direct bus to Yishun! Hee. :D

2011-12-04T23:54:00.000+08:00

So, today was mostly spent sleeping ahaha. Woke up at 8.30 to get ready for tuition at 10. And tuition was pretty okay...Finally starting to understand KEI better, and the stuff about AD/AS too. :3 On the down side I have to do essays now because I've been taught the content. Boo. ):
Anyway, after tuition, I had lunch [Awesome beefball spaghetti woohoo! Köttbullar! Which I only recently discovered was pronounced shot-bullar.] before stoning for a while then falling asleep. From 1.30 to 5.30. I have been so productive. HAHA. Yeah anyway the only reason I woke up was coz my dad told me to get ready to go out for dinner. Meh.
It was raining like mad heavily when we left home and we got wet while going to the car, which was like what, 5m away from the sheltered thingy. 5m isn't very far, just saying. Ohwell. And dinner was good! Had nabeyaki udon which was pretty nice, nothing very outstanding, but hey whatever's edible is fine with me.

Saw that DGM came out the moment I got home I was so happehhh! :D And this month's chapter is freaking good okay I am in love~ And it's 34 pages long. Twice that of last month's 17. SEVENTEEN PAGES OKAY LAST MONTH. Not even one page a day! Grr. But it's okay all is forgiven because today's chapter was so omggg! :3
Claymore came out today too and grah cliffhanger but overall okay chapter. It was the cliffhanger that was really "OMG WHAZ GONNA HAPPEN NEXT CHAP?"

Realised I forgot to bathe after coming home and when I came out of the shower I only had about half an hour to draw out Bulbasaur for today's POKEDDEX thing and well, I thought I'd have problems with Bulbasaur since previous attempts to draw it on Nessie's frisbee didn't go too well, but it looks quite alright!

Tadaa! So cute right my Bulbasaur can dance hehe. :D Okay better post this now before clock strikes midnight hee.

2011-12-03T23:54:00.001+08:00

Another day spent idling around at home and watching more Youtube videos. And I really can't seem to get the British accent out of my head, especially after spending half my day watching videos from charlieissocoollike, which is actually pretty funny by the way. [AGH BRITISH-SOUNDING VOICE IN MY HEAD STOPZ.] In any case it turned out to be pretty productive anyway, because I finished my Econs tuition homework~ :D And then I found time to draw my third Pokemon for POKEDDEX.

Kinda decided to leave it in sketching rather than the outline coz I'm afraid of ruining it and Charizard is a pain to draw. Especially the head and the tail oh gosh. Claws are getting better though. That's a plus. :D Anyway just saying, Charizard's actually third in line for favourite Flying-type Pokemon. Initially I wanted to draw Pidgeot, but because there's another day reserved for Favourite Bird Pokemon, which is Pidgeot, I was going to draw Tropius. But then there's another day for Favourite Single Stage Pokemon, which was actually Lapras but coz Lapras is my favourite Pokemon to use in-battle, Tropius was the next contender, thus leaving me with Charizard for Flying-type.
Also, the only reason I am posting this on my blog is because my black-and-white juvenile drawings cannot compare to the crazily gifted people doing this on Tumblr and my inferiority complex kicked in. But for the sake of trying new things, and knowing that not as many people read my blog compared to Tumblr where if they type in Pokeddex they'll be able to find my not-as-good drawings, I shall just upload them here. [Just saying, still talking/thinking with a British accent in my headdd.]
I'm rather proud of my Charizard actually.

Anyway, exciting plans for the coming week! [WHERE THERE ARE NO TRAININGS YESSSSSS.]
Gonna have dinner tomorrow coz it's my cousins' birthdays! Yes, cousins as in the plural. And birthdays in the plural too. It's just a birthday dinner thing to celebrate as a family, not that their birthdays are tomorrow. Then Monday my parents have taken a day off so I suspect we'll be having ~~an early morning breakfast~~ brunch together then maybe go shopping or something. Yay~ And Tuesday to Wednesday is SLEEPOVERRR. Okay actually gonna watch Breaking Dawn Part 1 with Joey then go to her house for HP movie marathon. Hopefully. We might just die before we finish the marathon HAHA. Oh and on either Thursday or Friday I'll be going to Ann-Ann's house for another movie marathon hehe. Because we're the only two sad souls who've been going for training and are stuck in Singapore the entire of the December hols. Boo. Ohwell we get to spend quality time together! And the plan is to do weights while watching movies hahaha I'd like to see how that turns out. XD

Okay yup Econs tuition early tomorrow morning better sleep soon! Or not. Heh.

2011-12-02T23:07:00.001+08:00

I was feeling mega bored today, despite there being like a gazillion shows that I want to watch, but you know, there must be a certain mood you must have to watch a show. If I'm not in that mood then tendency is I'll think the show is utter crap and stop watching it entirely, which is not good! So. Yeah. Then I spent my day reliving the primary school days where Youtube was everything, and I mean everything. Watched the X Factor, both the UK and USA versions, and laughed at all the weird people who auditioned for the first round hahaha it was mad funny the people who come and actually think they can sing well. It's one thing to be able to hit the right notes, another to hit the right notes strongly and consistently. [Well not that I can sing but that earlier statement carries some truth.]
Funny how during Promos I'd get distracted by anything and everything but now it's like "Oh god everything's such a bore. Sianz." The mind works in such strange ways.
Oh gosh I keep thinking of everything in a British accent because I watched too much of the UK auditions damnit.

Well anyway, to curb my boredom, I decided to do this monthly challenge thing I found. Hehehe. It's on Pokemon so uh, you have been warned?

Well so I'm a day late, and I wound up drawing two pictures! :D

I'm quite proud of myself actually hahaha. And this like curbed my boredom for maybe, 2 hours? Thing was I took less than half an hour to draw Snorlax and like an hour to draw Blaziken. Stupid feathers. And I improvised on its claws haha can't draw the original one for nuts.
Flying type tomorrow not sure if I should draw Pidgeot or Tropius or Wingull haha. And Joey and I were like discussing very intently about the feathers on Pidgey, Pidgeotto and Pidgeot because I got quite annoyed by Blaziken's feathers already haha.
Well yeah k I'm bored again. ):

2011-12-01T00:06:00.000+08:00

Yeah k needa get this out of my system before I totally forget it. FIRST DREAM I'VE HAD IN A WHILE. [That I could remember pretty clearly.] So it starts with this strange girl who attempts to break into this school, which is modelled after RJ, but it isn't actually RJ, and in this dreams, schools are actually like different...factions? So like different schools are actually different kinds of people who fight in different ways. So there are summoner-type people, and people who use weapons, and magicians, yeah k. So this girl who tries to break into the RJ-like school is actually a summoner of a golden dragon, and she's carrying her summoner thingy which is like a dagger whose blade is in the shape of a golden dragon, and she manages to break into the school. Thing is, there are like "student guards" who actually patrol the school grounds and so they manage to corner her and so they put her in this confinement room [which looks a lot like the computer labs in school, sans computers] and confiscate her dagger, so she can't summon her dragon.
Next, this other girl comes walking in with this student guard chasing after her saying that she can't see the enemy summoner. But because this girl is apparently the daughter of some dude in the upper echelons of the school authority or something, the student guard can't argue with her so he left her with the enemy-girl, although he probably stayed outside in case anything happened.
So yeah apparently enemy-girl and RJ-girl actually know each other, but not like they're good friends or anything. Probably rivals as I saw it? And so RJ-girl was demanding to know why enemy-girl was there. Her explanation was that the core of her own school/faction/whatever was being weakened by some unknown enemy and was thus sent by her "principal" to steal the energy of the core of other schools/factions to continue to sustain her own school's/faction's core, because without the core, they die, or their powers disappear, or just something really bad happens. She was doing it against her will, because she doesn't believe in stealing some other school's core and that they should just track down the unknown enemy but she couldn't go against the orders of the "principal" so she had no choice. Then enemy-girl tells RJ-girl that she suspects there's some conspiracy amongst the "principals" of all the schools [which I don't remember anymore omg shiz] and that the students should actually band together and like rebel! Naturally, RJ-girl doesn't believe enemy-girl but she also knows that enemy-girl isn't the type to lie and while they're from rival schools, they aren't really enemies per se.
RJ-girl then tries to help enemy-girl escape on the condition that she helps her get back her dagger if she does not steal her school's core. So deal, deal, done. RJ-girl uses the ruse that she needed the dagger for interrogation and gets it from the student guard and enemy-girl uses her dragon to blast a hole through the windows. But right before she leaves, she turns back to where RJ-girl was trying to hold the door closed to stop the student guard from entering the room, and asks RJ-girl to join her in figuring out the conspiracy and stuff like that, so RJ-girl hesitates, then dashes across the room and jumps onto the golden dragon where they fly off into the sky.
[Insert time-skip into future.]
RJ-girl returns to school claiming to have been kidnapped by enemy-girl, but because enemy-girl's school's core finally died, so did enemy-girl, and so she managed to escape. But truth was, enemy-girl didn't die, she merely lost her powers. And they discovered that there really was some conspiracy among the "principals" to secretly have a war where the students would eventually kill one another, leaving the power of the schools' core entirely in the hands of the principals. [Something like that.]
So, RJ-girl then silently spreads the word of the conspiracy and on night, the entire school just rebelled against the authoritative figures of the school who were decked out in like army attire. However, the authoritative figures were more experienced in using the special powers [of summoning, magic, weapons, etc] and RJ dealt with weapons, so the students would flee, or disguise themselves as authoritative figures by wearing army-related stuff. And so it was like one giant game of catching. [Which was pretty amusing actually.]
While the whole rebellion was going on, enemy-girl managed to meet up with RJ-girl and together, they sneaked back into school and into the restricted area which was where the core of the school was, and confronted RJ-girl's dad. Thing was, he was facing away from them and staring at the core of the school [which was just some crystal ball on a pole] while they were questioning him and he totally didn't answer their questions. So RJ-girl got annoyed and stormed up to her dad and he had no face. Like really, no face. It was like totally ripped out of his head so it was gross and bleeding and it was his skull like gory mad shiz. And RJ-girl screamed. And I woke up. Yup.
I think a lot of stuff were definitely school-based, like in RJ. Like the computer labs, and when the students rebelled they were running on the road leading to J8 and the one at the canteen bus-stop. Yeah. So, time for dream-interpretation book!

School - the school or classroom will often appear in dreams when we are relearning how to deal with our own idiosyncrasies, or when we are learning about different ways to deal with authority and feelings of inadequacy. In situations where we are learning new abilities or skills, the image of a school will often surface in dreams. School may also be indicative of how we learn about competitiveness and belonging to groups.Dagger - in dreams, the dagger represents an age-old instrument of a blood-sacrifice. In a woman's dream, the dagger tends to represent her drives or a need to focus on her more masculine side. [Um does this mean more gym? ._.]
Dragon - seen as both frightening and yet manageable, it will represent us in our own untamed nature. We must come to terms with our own passions and chaotic beliefs, and face dangerous conflict to overcome the lower side of our natures and reach our inner resources.
Flying - flying upwards is to be moving towards a more spiritual appreciation of our lives. To dream of flying is to be releasing ourselves from limitations that we may impose on ourselves.
Rebel - we will only rebel if we feel sufficiently strongly about something. For there to be a rebel in our dreams, it suggests that we have allowed that part of ourselves a 'voice'.
Face - when the face is hidden or has no features, it implies that we are hiding our own powers or refusing to accept our own abilities.
Blood - to dream of a violent scene where blood appears indicates that we are being self-destructive in some way.
Skull - a skull in dreams can sometimes represent major changes such as death. To perceive a skull where there should be a head suggests that we are not using our intellectual abilities as well as we might. To be talking to a skull is recognising the need to communicate with those who are lost to us in any way.

So...yeah. Actually a lot of it makes sense. Or maybe it's just me thinking that the stuff makes sense when it's just me linking obscure parts of my life and thoughts to the random ramblings of the book. Ohwell.

Anyway, on Monday there was training! Although it wasn't really tough training since it was just a morning run at ECP with Yining, Ann and Ms Koh hahaha. Like yeah there were only 3 people going for training that morning, how fun! Ran for quite a distance okay, like more than I've ever done in probably half a year. Might have hit 6km, but I wouldn't know because halfway through the markings on the ground that tell you how far you've run just disappeared haha. And omg while running, there was this guy who cycled past me and bloody wolf-whistled at me. Weirdo. ._.
After that mega tiring run, we went to Old Town to have breakfast! Hahaha! Ann and I shared a plate of kaya toast while Yining and Ms Koh ate like proper food, which is what I normally eat for like, lunch? Hahaha. Ms Koh then gave us a lift back to Tanah Merah MRT, where the three of us stoned in front of the map of all the MRT stations in Singapore for 10, 15mins, before we made some impromtu decision to go to Ann's house to play MAHJONGGG. HAHAHAHA. Which was just what we did. Played mahjong for around 4 hours? Haha it was mad funny. We had a break in between to eat though, and we kept digressing by looking for food. Ann's house is like a food heaven I swear. XD Then after we played like 4 rounds, and by that I mean going through the 东南西北 stuff once through, we decided to call it a day and went to use the laptop instead haha. And I showed them ridiculous Korean and Japanese pranks hahaha. Like Sungyeol's prank on Infinite's Sesame Player, and the Japanese mirror ghost ones ahahaha. Then we decided it was time to go home. (: Spontaneous funfunfun hehe.

Today, there was gym training, but only Ann and I were there hahaha omg. 老天爷就是注定我们永远相依为命! XD Hm but it was pretty fun lah haha, especially at the bench press and I was helping Ann to spot. Coz before that we had to some exercises, and mine involved some jumpy thing from side to side and landing on one leg. Really testing my ankle mans. But yeah I was sweating like mad from that so uh...spotting for Ann probably wasn't the most ideal thing to do next HAHAHA. Overall it was a pretty fun gym session though, really cozy with just me, Ann, and Ms Vivienne hahaha! And when Ann and I went to look for Ms Koh after that, we were like discussing what to do for Friday's training since it would most probably just be the two of us again LOL. There were a lot of interesting options hehe.
Slacked around in the canteen with Ann after that coz we were both waiting for our parents to come fetch us. At 7. When gym ended at 4. HAHA. Yeah we're just lazy poks but heyyy we just had gym~ [Excuses, excuses.] Talked about a lot of random stuff, like football and Rooney's hair, and reading Reader's Digest jokes haha.

IT'S DECEMBER ALREADY GUYS DAMNIT TIME PASSES MAD QUICKLY. ):

2011-11-26T21:14:00.001+08:00

So, had class outing at ECP yesterday and it was pretty fun, considering the bad weather halfway through.
We were supposed to meet at 10 at Paya Lebar MRT but um, only Kevin and I were on time haha. And to think I totally rushed out of my house thinking that I was going to be late and didn't manage to pack extra clothes to freaking ECP. Whut. But yeah after that Siddeeq and Fadhli came along and after giving calls to people who were supposed to meet up as well, we decided to go first. There was a super funny conversation with Russell haha.

Fadhli: Eh Russell, where are you now?
Russell: Walking to the MRT.
Fadhli: MRT? Which one?
Russell: Pioneer.

We were all just dying at his response LOL. So yeah we took a bus to Rashy's house then waited for him to come down, which took like half an hour. Which I guess was pretty fast considering that he only got out of bed when we called him 10mins into waiting below his block. Tsktsk.
Walked over to Macs then caught up with Ness and Alif who were already there, then went out to a random BBQ pit and slacked! Okay well, Ness and I went to the water after sploshing about in the muddy grass to get to the beach coz it actually rained earlier. Boo. Siddeeq was a boy obssessed with using his camera to take random pictures haha! And then Ness' beach ball accidentally got hit into the waters and it was floating away then Siddeeq went into like chest-deep waters to get it back. WITH HIS CAMERA IN TOW. We were all like "Omg Siddeeq your camera it's going to get wet!" [Funny how we were more worried about his camera than him being in chest-deep water with waves to boot.] But yeah we rescued the beach ball, although Siddeeq got some cut on his foot because of the sharp rocks. ): Went back to lepak at the BBQ pit and then this psycho guy came over to talk to us and asked us questions like what school we were from and stuff like that. We were all just like "Omg ignore ignore ignore." O_O After a while he went away and we were like henggg. Then the Muslim kids had to leave for Friday prayers so we were down to Rashy, Kevin, Ness and me, then Russell came along. Empty-handed. We were all like whuuut. Hahaha.
It started to drizzle a bit after that so we all moved to a shelter. We were headed to the nearest one when we saw that the psycho guy was sitting there so we quickly turned around and chionged to another shelter in the opposite direction hahaha. Then Rashy played his guitar and we sang to random songs, before Kevin and Russell had to leave. So Ness, Rashy and I continued singing to random songs [and maybe annoyed the other people at the shelter too haha oops] while waiting for the rain to stop and for the rest of the people to come. We had awesome shit fun singing to Numb by Linkin Park hahaha then we tried In The End but omg the rap part was damn weird so we gave up. XD
After that the rain let up and yay everyone came! So there was Rashy, Ness, me, Fadhli, Alif, Siddeeq, Farah, Amanda, and Sophia! After a bit more singing Sophia and I decided to go rent bicycles hehe. Siddeeq joined us after that, but he wanted to like cycle the whole of ECP which would be total madness so we told him to go ahead because we wanted to take a relaxing, leisurely cycle haha. Halfway through Amanda joined us coz she was cycling with Rashy and Fadhli then we invited her to come along with us hehe. :D So we cycled and discovered this super fun place with a slope where you can go down damn fast without pedalling and it's just "WHEEEEEEEEE~" -flails arms- HAHA. Then we cycled on and on until we went past like a skate park, and the jetty, and went all the way until some weird part of ECP where we decided to turn around or we wouldn't make it back to the rental shop in time haha. On the way Rashy called us and told us to join Fadhli and him on the jetty, claiming that the view was mad nice. So we did, and it wasn't that nice. [Fadhli stood up and like sorta flexed his arms asking us if the view was nice we were like whut HAHAHA.] So we cycled back then on the way Rashy and Fadhli went to lepak at the food court coz they had another hour to cycle whereas Sophia and I only had 30mins left. On the way we saw Farah cycling with Izhar and apparently Alif and Ness went cycling too so we were like "Omg who's with our bags!" but Siddeeq was there so it's all good.
Returned our bicycles then played MonoDeal, which I still suck at omg do not like. ): AND SOPHIA BULLIED ME WTP KEEP TAKING ALL MY MONEY AND PROPERTY THAT GIRL. Then Marx came so Amanda, Siddeeq, Rashy and Marx played the next round and Siddeeq totally doesn't know how to win the game HAHA. Like if you wanna collect rent from someone, obviously collect from the person with no money so you can get property right! But Siddeeq, with some deeply harboured grudge, went to attack Amanda who totally had the means to pay, instead of Marx, who had zilch money, but lotsa properties. In the end Marx won lah haha we were all like omggg Siddeeq!
After that, we debated over where to go for dinner, like ECP, Tampines, City Hall, Dhoby, etc. In the end we settled everything by ordering pizza at Rashy's place haha. Played Kinect at Rashy's house while waiting for pizza and omg he had the dance one but mad paiseh to do so I didn't. It was funny laughing at everyone else though and haha Rashy is like some pro. Bet he plays it everyday at home or something. XD Then we played the sports one and uh Alif like pwned everyone at the long jump shit HAHA. Freaking world record we were like WOAHHHH. Hahaha. Then Ness broke the world record for discus, until Siddeeq came along and killed her record. XD Then pizza came and we were happy kids eating. :3 Left after taking group pictures and took a bus to Bedok with Sophia, who had a bus home from Tampines. And we were being mega retarded while talking about some cheem stuff like the purpose of our life and if we only had a day left to live what would we do and stuff like that.
And that was class outing. Not very successful considering that only 12 people turned up! And omg our girls attendance is like blech. 5/17 compared to the guys 7/11! Hopefully it'll get better sigh.

Didn't have Chem tuition today yay coz last week my tuition teacher was like "You want to go on a break next week?" so obviously yes I want a break haha. But there's Econs tomorrow sigh. NEED TO DO HOMEWORK NOW.

2011-11-21T23:03:00.001+08:00

Sigh I had a feeling that today was going to be a bad day since my mum angsted me in the morning TWICE and then on the way to school the bus went over a curb while turning and my bag totally flew up in the air and slammed damn loudly on the floor and my water bottle went WHEEEEE all the way to the back of the bus ugh.
Econs lecture was mega waste of time I don't really bother paying attention anymore even though I should be but I really need my rest from school okay it's bad enough I haven't stopped my tuition even though Promos are over. [Minus Math.] So I read my book [more on that later] and played with my GameBoy ahahaha Pokemon LeafGreen is WIN. (Y) Oh then halfway another lecturer came to takeover because we finished the case study stuff. And I still don't remember what he talked about. Essays or something or other...
Bio lecture was well, still boring, but at least I sorta understood what was going on despite it being rather dry and having two lectures back-to-back certainly didn't help at all. And it's gonna be really taxing the next few days I'll be in school for Bio and only Bio lectures, including a double Bio lecture on Thursday isn't life just peachy.
Went out for lunch at Mos Burger with Tina after that though, after discussing our plans to spend the 5 hours between end of school and training haha. And then we watched You're The Apple Of My Eye and omg it's such a sweet story ahhh the guy and the girl totally should have gotten together but that wouldn't have made it as impactful. But still they could have chosen a better actor for the girl's groom seriously the first thing that popped into my mind was that he looked like an Asian Mr Bean. Not in the nice way either. But ahhh seriously this just shows that people need to take their chances if they don't wanna have regrets. And after the movie I was just speaking in Chinese a lot haha too easily influenced. I even said some cheem shit like "爱并不复杂，复杂的其实是人" and after that it was rather like "Whoa I said that. In Chinese. CHINESE!" Hahahaha. But omg all the sick parts like the air guitar and the um, gunning with the room-mates, and the learning-English scenes with the neighbour uncle I was just dying in my seat the whole time. XD
Headed back to school and slacked around in the Hodge Lodge after that with Tina and saw Fadhli! Who said he also watched the show, and that he can relate to the male lead. Tina and I were just like exchanging glances and nudging each other and Fadhli totally didn't get it. So we explained to him like, "Oh, so you can relate in the emotional or physical way?" -insert ;; faces- HAHAHA. Mad funny. He meant it in the emotional way just saying haha.
Training was bad. It probably would have been good if I was fitter, but gah totally dying after one round and my breathlessness came back and felt really dizzy like really bad I couldn't even tell Yining properly that I was gonna stop at the bus-stop after one round ugh what is wrong with me someone help. ):
Went to talk to Ama for a while with the rest of them and it felt nice like yay senior and she only has 2 papers left omggg it's going to be over really quickly!
So after that we went our separate ways and I went to the pickup point to wait for my daddy to come fetch me and I continued to read Sins of the Fathers and I'm really amazed at how the author, in one book, can cover different perspectives and actually make it feel like a whole new book everytime she touches on a different perspective. Really! Like for one character you can totally see his self-righteousness shining through his words, his thoughts, his actions. The way the narration is carried out, practically every sentence is punctuated with an "I" to show how much he refers to himself. And then there's another character whose world practically revolves around her husband, but she kinda resents how she's become "His Wife" rather than her own person, since she is perfectly capable of standing her own ground in the society that they mingle in. It's like their own personal voice is truly speaking out from the words in the book. Maybe it's because throughout the book, there are these really strong emotions, sometimes even conflicting ones, and so it's easier to stretch the characters to the very ends and make them so strong in their thoughts and beliefs that it's so easy to feel the difference in even the warmth of their tone. It could just be me, but I think it's pretty rare enough for a book to tell a story, chronologically, from different characters' perspectives, and actually be able to let the reader feel the characters' differently. I didn't feel it this strongly even for My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult. The best buy from Border's clearance sale so far haha.
Yeah okay and my mum basically angsted me all the way home and such is my wonderful day.
Bio at 8 tomorrow life is gooooood. Not.

2011-11-19T17:00:00.001+08:00

Not too sure why but I've been sleeping way too much the past few days, like bordering 12 hours of sleep. Which is insane. :/

So, DtW shoot was pretty fun haha there are seriously so many elements to photography that one has to take into account all for that one picture. Like angle of the photo, the background colours, whether there are weird props in the background that mess with the general composition, position of our arms, balls, legs, heads, whether we're evenly spaced out or we should just be a general clump, to smile or not to smile, and of course whether our faces look nice and pretty. After all, no one appreciates having a blown up picture of themselves mid-blink on the walls of the school for all to see. I think our informal picture is really cute, where everyone's all smiley and happy and we're just so Dream Team. Hahahaha. The more formal picture was more tiring to take a good picture of though, because it was in motion. Like a contest for the ball in midair. [I think I grew fatter sigh the jersey damn bloody tighttt.] Initially it was gonna be Cat and Mingming doing the shot I think, but then it became Seow and I jumping for the ball. Our initial shot was actually pretty good, but it couldn't be used coz Seow was smiling [and they can't use pictures where people are smiling?] and I didn't mind it not being used because my mouth was open really wide and unglamly. [What's new?] Hahaha. But after a couple of shots, we got one that looked pretty nice, although Siamese-twin-like. Haha it was quite funny, like we had to move closer to the pole, further from the pole, nearer to the camera, etc. And even change the way we stood and the hands we used to try and get the ball. But it was pretty fun, even with all the sweating ahaha. And after that we took a couple of polaroids with Ann's camera hee. :D
Muchos gracias to Jodimama for taking all the awesome pictures of us being spastic and everything hehe. And all our camwhoring shots with the polaroids. Hee.

So yeah after that I went home and watched MuBank after I bathed, then slept from 7pm to 9am this morning, got up and realised in a panic that I hadn't finished my Chem tuition homework sianz. So that was how I spent my Saturday morning. ): But during tuition my teacher asked me if I wanted a break because I was pretty far ahead of the syllabus. Like other than OrgChem, I think he's not gonna teach me anything else except for the rest of Periodicity? So right now I'm about 85% through the Chem syllabus. (Y) [Although there's that problem about not understanding OrgChem...]

Going to have another birthday dinner later, for my 2nd Uncle omg gonna gain weight from all this food.

TIME TO WATCH ANIME AT LASTTT~

2011-11-18T08:00:00.001+08:00

Batch outing + impromptu sleepover was funz! :D Had dinner at Fish&Co at Park Mall and we ordered all the different Fish&Chips. They have like a gazillion different types now instead of just the normal Fish&Chips and NY Fish&Chips. Then Banana came later because she was watching a movie with her class, then Yihui came like after that. Haha it was mad funny coz she asked if Banana was already there and we replied that yes, she has no hope of not being the last anymore. XD
Headed over to Yirong's house after that and watched 200 Pounds Beauty, before staying up to talk about random stuff all the way until 4.30. In the morning. When we had to wake up at 6.30 for school after that HAHA. But it was fun staying up still. :D Too bad not everyone could sleepover though. And it was mega epic when we tried to shift all the mattresses from the beds to the living room outside haha we really training our arm strength mans. (Y)
Gym after school was pretty bad. ): Like I was starting to get really tired and I couldn't do the bench press anymore sighhh. But everything else was pretty okay I guess. :3

Yesterday I went out with Joey to Kino to buy our books! Bloodlines and Destined! YAY~ [But gah I'm still reading Sins of the Fathers I need to hurry up and finish that book before I can move on.] The books are like a lot cheaper now lor. I always thought that Destined cost like 17bucks-ish but now it's only 13bucks! O_O
Headed to Far East and sat down to talk about random stuff like our ideal guys LOL. It was quite funny. Then we walked around Far East and looked at random clothes before we walked past this ship on the top floor that was selling socks at $2 per 2 pairs! And if we bought 6 we'd get 1 free! So obviously we bought socks there hahahaha. But so weird to sell it so cheaply, like what kinda profit will they make mans.

Later having DtW photoshoot with Jodimama helping us to take the pictures hehe I'm sure they'll turn out pretty. :3 But I really don't want to go to school just for that but ohwell. :/

2011-11-14T23:55:00.001+08:00

Had training at RGS againnn! :D Okay today's training was actually quite slack for me because I felt breathless and like 喘不过气 at one point in time during the drills so I skipped out on an entire portion of training. I think it was coz I didn't really sleep very well the night before so, yeah. :/ But okay, other than the drills, and we ran like rounds on the track. 3 rounds, no timing, then 2 sets of 1 round with medicine ball! Haha omg the medicine ball is super awkward to run with. It doesn't really feel right running while hugging it coz you can't swing your arms, but then it's also not the right size to hold with just one hand! Hm, then we did drills, like the one from last training where we had to intercept, then a few more complicated ones haha like must run, then roll, then 45 degrees, then dodge, and then don't know what else HAHA. Then we played game! :D K my shots were initially pretty screwy, and my timing for offers were quite off, but as the match went on it got better, so yay. :D And coz we played 3 quarters, then to end the quarter, we must score 3-in-a-row. So the last quarter was mega agonizing because like whenever either team scored 2 already, then the opposing team would suddenly score one then the whole thing reset HAHA. But in the end the seniors still wonnn wheeeee~ XD Cheap thrill ahaha.

I gave up on watching D.N.Angel and Neon Genesis Evangelion. :/ Well, D.N.Angel was coz I don't really like the whole dual persona thing, and the randomly stealing of artifacts and stuff. And Neon Genesis Evangelion was actually pretty okay, and I would probably pick it up again, but I was lazy to look for the videos because I couldn't find subbed vids of episode 3! Annoying much. And it's a really old anime [Think 1995 haha.] where the storyline takes place in 2015 with alien machines invading Tokyo. That's 4 years from now and I don't think alien machines are actually going to invade Tokyo but ohwell.
Anyway, I started watching Tsubasa Chronicles instead haha and I like. Very much. :D Actually I've read like half the manga before but that was ages ago so~

Going out for dinner with RN'10 at Fish&Co cannot waitz hehe. :D

2011-11-13T13:54:00.001+08:00

All they ever know is to consume blindly out of their own greed for more. How can they be considered humans if they're even more barbaric than the very animals that they kill? I would curse them to be reincarnated into the animals that have been hunted and poached for decades, but guess what? The animals are freaking extinct. Good job, guys, good job.

2011-11-11T23:13:00.001+08:00

Ah no shit I'm addicted to Infinite okay hahaha I can't get enough of them and now my desktop wallpaper looks like this:

I NEED TO FOCUS ON DOING MY CHEM TUITION HOMEWORK. But Sunggyu is too distracting sigh.

[edit]Oya coincidentally it's 11:11 HAHA didn't notice that! Albeit the fake 2311, but whateverrr~[/edit]

2011-11-11T21:06:00.001+08:00

Had training yesterday and it was funz. :D Okay well not so fun during the running of 8 rounds in total. 2 warm up, then 2 sets of 3 rounds under 8mins. Not as torturous as it sounds, really. It's just that I'm some unfit duck who took 7:30 the first set and then 8:50 the second like whut. But it's really great having teammates to cheer you on. (: Thanks Attan!
Went to do ball handling after that, then we had to do some drill to help us with intercepting passes, where the point is to just sprint all the way, and not stretch out your hand to intercept too early because it slows you down. Then the stoops lightning alert went off. [One of the things I do not miss about RGS.] It wasn't even raining lah please. [What's new?] So yeah we wound up doing drills at the sheltered walkway and there aren't a lot of different drills that we can do there. But after that the lightning alert was gone and we could go out and play! :D
So we played like 2 quarters of full-court games, which I've missed so much omg. Thought I wouldn't be able to shoot because boobs were still aching after gym on Wednesday but surprisingly my shots were pretty okay hahaha. I was actually rather high throughout the thing, and when the ball wasn't on our attacking side, I was talking to Rachel, Malini, Sab and Janice about random stuff ahhhh miss the juniors loads. Oh and the funny thing was 3 people cramped up during the game HAHA. Like me, then Heng Hwee, then Sherly omg it was mad hilarious. And we cramped up one after another. XD
Waited for my dad to fetch me home after that. I had a full hour to read this book called Sins of the Fathers. It's actually not that bad, and when I bought it I initially thought it was like related to abuse of this girl or something, but so far it's been all about the manipulative natures of human beings, and it's actually set back in the time period after WWII and as time progresses, the perspective from which the story is being told shifts to another person. Really interesting book.

Today, I finished watching Fruits Basket! I feel really sad that the anime wasn't continued though, because in the anime, Tohru hasn't met Rin and Kureno, and I really wanna see how the relationships pan out in actual motion because manga doesn't satisfy the aesthetic need for there to be colour! But I think the anime isn't continued because from the start, they made a mistake with Akito's seiyuu ahaha. Ohwell. But gahhh I really wanna see Yuki and Machi get together kyaaa~ :3
Hm...probably gonna watch D.N.Angel or Neon Genesis Evangelion next. Whee~

Ah, and I suppose I should start on my tuition homework like, now. Damn.

2011-11-10T12:29:00.001+08:00

Going back to RGS for training later I am excites! :D Well it's like gonna be after the Chinese O's haha so amusing I remember that feeling of "YAY NO CHINESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE" that time. Heh.

Yesterday's gym session was pretty good. Did the stuff with Shin the mega buff girl. First thing she wanted to do was bench presses I was like "NOOOOO~" but ohwell it went better than expected. Plus boobs don't hurt as much as last week haha. Ms Vivienne was saying how my hamstrings [and generally my thighs actually] are doing a lot of the work during gym. Especially during bench press, because my weak spindly arms are not strong enough on their own, and during squats, because its compensating for my back. LOL. She told me to work on sticking my butt out more HAHAHA. Oh gosh gonna have to walk around looking like a duck.

Watching Fruits Basket now. (: It's such a light-hearted anime haha gosh I really miss the manga. It reminds me of my primary school life, where everytime I went for Sakamoto tuition at Simei, then I'd walk past this manga rental shop at the MRT and beg my mum to let me read them. Which was where I got hooked onto manga in the first place! [And accidentally stumbled upon um, hentai manga. At the mere age of 12, sigh. Which reminds me, why did the lady there even rent out that manga to me in the first place. In my defence, I was just attracted to the pretty colourful cover and the story summary on the back didn't show any traces of it being hentai. Okaaaay?] Too bad the shop closed and got replaced by a laundromat. ): Might re-read the manga soon hehe. If I have time. Which I might not actually have since I have tuition homework to do, and 16 books to finish reading before school reopens, and this would include having to revise. Gah.

2011-11-08T20:28:00.000+08:00

GUESS WHAT'S OVER? OP. THAT'S WHAT. MUAHA.
Okay yeah it went better than expected I guess. I thought I'd freak out halfway but I think I more or less stayed calm. Except for that moment where one of the assessors just totally yawned in my face while I was talking and I was just mega pissed at him for not having respect and at least covering his mouth while he yawned. But nooooo he just blatantly opened his giant orfice while I was in the midst of explaining how our action plan to cultivate self-belief is feasible. What I would give to stuff my cue cards down his throat. Siddeeq totally attacked the teacher during the Q&A part lol. Just showed how that teacher wasn't paying attention nyehhh.

Anyway, a lot of pissing stuff happened over the weekend but whatever, it's over, and from today onwards I will have no reason to interact with her any longer and so, I will move on.

Had a sleepover at Jaslyn's house from Sunday to Monday! :D Haha I reached her house at 5ish? Then we went for dinner before going grocery shopping where we saw that New Moon advertisement at the supermarket and camwhored with Banana's and Sak's youthful, Sec1 picture HAHAHA. We got a lot of stares from people for that. Went back to her house and we started watching Camp Rock 2 haha! :D Then I showed her the videos of Infinite's Sesame Player and she agrees it's funny! MUAHA. See, not everything Kpop is overrated. And she likes Sung Yeol haha because he's such a joker with his banana prank on the other members LOL. It's seriously mad funny. Oh and I also scared Kathleen. It was quite funny haha her reaction was a bit delayed. Like. She only started screaming and shouting at me after I left the room in a fit of giggles HAHA.
So, after slacking and eating snacks, which on hindsight we probably shouldn't have because it's bad for our throats, we finally decided to start rehearsing our scripts. At 1. In the morning. Yup, we rock. [We rock, we rock on! Ahahahaha geddit?] Then we stayed up until 4 woohoo! And the last thing we said before sleeping was discussing about this question that we thought the teachers might ask for Q&A lol how hardworking are we mans?
Woke up [after SMS raged us oops] and went to buy back KFC for brunch. Then we, as in Jaslyn, Alif, Mingshi and me, started rehearsing for our OP and we discussed Q&A questions too. It was pretty productive. (: And we worked out the kinks in our powerpoint too! Which was good! And we worked on a really awesome group ending thing haha. It was so spontaneous of us teehee.

Anyway I am in love with Infinite right now. Sunggyu and Woohyun are madshiz cute! And Sung Yeol is this crazy awesome prankster omg I feel so sad for him that he doesn't get as much screentime as the others! Even SungJong who's the maknae gets more lines and screentime and is more recognised for being a pretty face. [Taem's prettier though muaha.] Sung Yeol's personality is really really bright and refreshinggg omg. Initially I only knew Woohyun, because I knew him as the pro dude who could sing that really long note back at the Kpop Night Concert a year ago during Infinite's She's Back performance. But after watching Sesame Player, which was a complete accident because I only stumbled upon it on Youtube on Sunday morning and while feeling bored, I really love Sunggyu and Woohyun. Sunggyu because while he's a really fun guy, he shows that he can be strict and serious when he has to, since he's the leader and all, and knows that he's the one responsible for keeping the rest of the members in check. And Woohyun is just so cute and he rambles on his own and monologues for a damn long time hahaha! Dongwoo and Hoya are mad cute together too and gosh they can dance damn synchro! The two of them really do act like a WGM couple HAHAHAHA.

Okay I'm gonna go catch up on anime now teehee. :3
Training tomorrow sigh gym hate gym boobs gonna ache like madz again.

2011-11-08T00:10:00.002+08:00

Less than 10 hours to go. Dear Lord, please be with us.

2011-11-02T23:14:00.001+08:00

Finally had training after, what, close to two months of zilch physical activity except for climbing stairs in school. And PE. [But what's so tiring about PE when all you do is play touch rug. Walking. Who the hell does that? Seriously.]
It was gym, and it feels good having to do something that requires you to exert strength. It's like, "Yay I'm finally doing something useful." Okay well I don't know how useful gym can be to me, depending on whether I make it into school team next year, but that's another problem for another day. For now, I'm so happy to be spending time with the netballers again, albeit under really tiring circumstances where most of the time the words exchanged involve grunts and groans.
I died during the bench press. Oh god my boobs are going to start sagging if I build up muscles there and they all turn to fat. Unless the fat all goes into my boobs, then I'll need to get new bras. HAHA. [What am I saying oh gosh.] Ms Vivienne made me lower the barbell all the way down so that it was almost level with my chest, and by then I had done like 10 reps before? There was no way in hell I was going to be able to push that up on my own hahaha. But she was like, "I want you to push the barbell all the way up, okay? Think of it as giving birth; you can't just push then leave the baby halfway out just like that right?" And it was just so hilarious ohmygosh. So I pushed and pushed with all my strength, and with help from Claire and Ms Vivienne, I got it up hahaha. I swear my legs were like in the air when I tried to push it up. And I was telling Yihui after I got off the bench, that I felt like I'd just given birth to triplets. HAHA.
Spent time after gym just talking about random stuff with the netballers in the canteen. It was nice. I knew I had to go home to do I&R but...Okay generally I'd rather spend time catching up with friends than doing work. Who wouldn't? [Okay fine there are people out there who would rather study than be with friends but I'm not one of them. So there.] It was fun, and I managed to rehearse like the first cue card of my script, although it was like over-exaggerated in some bimbotic manner HAHA. But hey, any practice is still practice!
After that we all left, and I went to the pickup point to wait for my dad, who told me he would come at 7. He came at 8. What's new? Haha but okay that one hour wasn't wasted. I did some JoSD the old-fashioned way, writing everything out word by word, line by line, and I got that patch of black graphite on your little finger that you get while writing because it rubs against the paper and the words written. So fun erasing it off HAHA. [By the way, ever wondered why pencil lead is called lead, when the lead is made out of graphite, which is actually carbon, and not lead? See, the English language doesn't make sense.]
K need to do I&R, then record my melodious voice saying my script in a perky manner, and listening to it throughout the night so that it gets internalised in my head. I hope.

2011-11-01T21:02:00.001+08:00

Just announce to the world that you hate me and get this over and done with. No need to put me down any further.

2011-11-01T03:26:00.001+08:00

Got home and freaking crashed. Slept all the way from 6plus to uh, 3plus in the morning. Which is now. Oops. That's like a blessed 9 hours of sleep haha. But it also means that I am sorta unprepared for my dry run later. Bsh myself. Need to edit parts of my script and the ppt script as well sighsighsigh. Can't wait for all this to be OVER. Just one more week woosh.
Guess I don't really have that much to worry about because I've done just about all the work that needs to be done in the next week. :3 Except maybe Arenes tut...But aiyah no time already need to practise for OP and do that stupid I&R and redo our GPP for submission rawr rawr rawr.

Yeah okay I need to chill. And do the script. Ugh.

2011-10-30T17:25:00.001+08:00

It will be over in less than 10 days. Can't wait.

Went for PTM with my mum yesterday. She insisted on dragging me along with her because my dad wouldn't be going with her and she thought that she would get lost in the very-huge-compound-that-is-RJC. Not that she really had to worry coz there were ushers all over the place haha. I had a feeling that the teachers would have been more open and honest if I weren't there. Ohwells.

In the end, I didn't manage to finish my tuition homework. I only slept at 3plus in the morning, and that was because I finally succumbed to slumber while struggling to finish random crap on ionic equilibria, which is like whut? Thankfully he didn't really say anything about it.
This morning, I finished my Econs tuition homework at 4.30. Morning, yes. I am working at really weird hours now.

So much work to do, and it's post-exams damnit.

2011-10-27T00:08:00.000+08:00

Sorta wasted my Deepavali holiday away. ): Didn't do much work other than the Econs MCQ when I was planning to finish my Chem stuff too. So this means I need to finish up Alkenes Tutorial AND my tuition homework tomorrow. Sigh.
Anyway I shouldn't really be using the word "wasted" because I spent it with my family and well, that isn't wasted time. [See what all this is turning me into. Time not spent doing homework = wasted time? Where's the sense in that?] My dad was talking to me about how both my mum and he have high expectations of me to do well, in general. For studies, career, blah. Even more so because my brother is well...completely oblivious to the importance of saving money/studying hard/basically doing well in studies to do well in life. It's not like by dropping out of school or getting retained or whatever, he's going to be the next Bill Gates. [Note: While he was a dropout, he did manage to get into Harvard in the first place. And score 1590 out of 1600 for his SATS.] That really set me thinking about what I should do in life, especially after my dad mentioned how getting professional degrees would help me a lot more in the future, like being a doctor or an engineer. He even suggested I follow the footsteps of my cousin and become a chemical engineer. [Note: My dad's still under the illusion that my Math is impeccable.] But my cousin's some mega smart person, with near-photographic memory. I swear. She still remembers her Bio stuff to some [really impressive] extent, which was scary since she probably hasn't touched on Bio really in depth in more than 10 years. I think. I suppose one thing which I'll be interested in would be like, studying stuff. Like social sciences maybe? Or studying animals. That works too.
Basically, I spent the morning reading manga, the entire afternoon at Changi Airport with my family eating at Swensens and we discovered this Peranakan kueh shop there and it sold really nice looking omnoms, then I spent the rest of the day watching SNSD's Haunted Movie Factory and doing Econs MCQ at the same time. [That show is mad hliarious by the way.]

My brother needs to stop making my mum angry. ): Especially when she's going through a really stressful phase [Although I don't really know the details.] and almost had to go back to the office on a holiday just to finish up her ever-growing pile of work. Which probably wasn't even hers to begin with. [Why does this sound familiar...]

Shall go off to bed after finishing up this chapter of JoSD. It's been really slow-moving, but it's such an important part. Ugh. What to do, what to do...

2011-10-24T21:20:00.001+08:00

So, results are finally out. I have two words that describe how I'm feeling right now [and for the most part of the day actually]: Thank God. Seriously, I was praying so hard for a miracle, especially since we knew that some people in our class didn't meet promotion criteria. Well, good things happened today. (:
The first news we got when we were in class, anxiously waiting for our teachers to distribute our papers back to us, was that our entire class would be promoted, albeit some through conditional promotion, but it's a relief that no one got retained. (:
And then we got back our results.
They handed out Chem first, and I must say, I really mustmustmust say, that it was a shock. I'd thought I'd screwed up the entire of section C, but I guess not. On any other day, where I would be aiming for ultra high grades, I'd probably be a bit miffed about missing out by that tiny little bit, but right now, I'm just so thankful for the grade, and yes, satisfaction, although the paper they set was probably meant to make sure we get a higher than average chance of passing...
GP was probably the only thing I was disappointed in. Really wasn't expecting the grade I got for the compo. :/ Guess you can never really tell how well you'll do for an essay. But it's still a pretty okay grade, and considering it's my first GP exam so far, there's only more room for improvement.
I think next up was Econs, and okay I need to boost my ego [self-belief hahaha] a bit for this, but I got highest in class for the CSQ. Teehee. :3 [Okay I don't think it's very high compared to other Econs geniuses' scores but hey hard work and tuition paid off.] And then my essays were total flops but it's still good. The overall grade that is. I think there's a bit of moderation though, unless I calculated my marks wrongly, so my marks got pushed up. Humdum. But there was a calculation error on my paper where they awarded one mark extraaa. ): Must be honest kid.
Math was another blessing. In my head I was totally imagining myself getting E or something because I screwed up all the non-graph questions which were supposed to be my strength and since I'm bad at graph questions, I figured I must have screwed them up too. And voila, I scored pretty high for my graph-related questions ahahaha. Just good enough for me to scrape by with an average grade. Probably could have done better, because I saw a gazillion careless mistakes [What's new?], but ohwell.
And then there was Bio. Lowest grade I scored, but I'm more relieved at scraping by rather than being angry this time. Previously I was annoyed because I lost like more than 10 marks because I didn't use the right terms. This time, I really didn't study that much. Bio's such a content-heavy topic, and what with rushing out WR in the weeks leading up to Promos, I really didn't memorise Bio all that much. It wasn't like Math, where all you could do was practice. It wasn't like Econs, where you just need that basic understanding and you would be able to answer the questions rather reasonably. It wasn't like Chem where you had the luxury of two whole days to study for it. So, I guess I'm happy that I scraped by.
Parents seemed okay with the results. My mum in particular was pretty happy with Chem, since there was a serious improvement, but I guess I didn't tell her how the paper was actually a lot easier than the piece of hell they gave us for CT. And my dad laughed at my Bio marks. ): Okay it was like laughing in a joking way, because he was like saying how I probably took after him, coz he took Bio in JC as well, and wound up doing quite badly for it HAHA. But okaaay I don't want to follow in his footsteps.

There were so many factors that could have led to the improvement in grades this time. Could have been more lenient marking, easier papers, the tuition, but I guess one major difference I felt was that there was much less stress in studying for Promos than for CTs. In fact the only time I came close to a breakdown was while mugging for Bio because there was so much information to memorise and I wasn't exactly stable after thinking that I screwed up Math i.e. supposedly my best subject. [It has now become Econs. Or Chem. Oh gosh.]
Staying positive helps, a lot. So I shall try harder. (:

2011-10-21T20:29:00.003+08:00

Humans really are scary people. You never really know what they think of you. Even as friends, acquaintances, you won't always know if they are surreptitiously talking about you behind your back. It makes you question yourself, your actions, thoughts, everything about yourself; everything that makes you who you are. The worst thing is that the people you become suspicious of aren't those who are mean. Rather, its those who are nice - eternally nice - that seem the most likely to harbour a grudge so deep that you probably would never know about it in your entire life. Not personally at least.
Fine lines between friendship and love, a joke and a harsh remark, a teasing retort and a sharp-tongued attack. This eternal tightrope on which we tread, and tread carefully we must, is far worse than whatever we've seen or heard about in circus shows.
And so I find myself wondering about the people I've known throughout my life, not just being paranoid about what they think about me, but also what I think about them. Randomly drawn conclusions were made, nothing too serious, without much finality.
Truly, humans are frightening.
I suppose this is why I like animals. They openly show their emotions and there's nothing to hide. A wag of the tail or the point of the ears; one movement reveals all.

It just isn't fair how more effort doesn't translate to better scores. But what can we do about it? Work harder I suppose, or give up. And so I use a word I've said far too often this year: ohwell.

We're supposed to be informed of it this week right? So if we haven't gotten a phone call, does it mean we're safe? For now at least? So very afraid, and yet in spite of the tumultuous mess in my mind, outwardly I am calm. Huh.

My brother passed a couple of his tests. Not all of the results are back yet, but I guess it's one step closer to him getting promoted to the next level, although some small part of me wishes that he would flunk so badly to give him a wake-up call, to get him to see that one does not get by in life through just-passes and close calls. I'd just like him to put in some serious effort into his studies ever since he passed the age of 10, just for once. Apparently even that is too much to ask from him.

I was actually pretty interested in that H3 Biology topic where they study all the different animals. And plants. But more interested in the animals. But knowing my grades, I'd never be able to do any H3, let alone that mega content-heavy one.
Yet again, ohwell.

2011-10-14T23:43:00.000+08:00

Broke my "dieting" spell today when I got home. Sigh. And it was going so well too okay. I lost like 1kg in the past week! And I probably just put it all back on when I got home today. ): But not my fault! Who could resist coming back home after a day of PW [on a day where there wasn't even supposed to be school for us in the first place] and see this massive pile [Okay it was like 3 packets, but still.] of Snyder's on the freaking table and NOT give in to the temptation to eat it! Huh? HUH? So yeah I ate it. Only one packet though thankfully. I put the other two packets out in the dining room where I won't see it as much and hence won't think of it as much and thus, will not be as inclined to scoff down another packet. I hope.
I swear I'm gonna get my BMI back down to 19ish by the end of the year. Which may or may not be helped by gym. But gah I don't want to put on so much muscle mass [Assuming I gain muscles.] and then NOT use them [In the rather likely event that I don't get into school team ahaha.] and it just turns into flab. More weight to lose what joy.And such are my weight woes. ):

On to other matters! Such as school. Well, restructured timetable is pretty slack, what with all the random pockets of time in between lectures [Yay no tutorials~] which is usually spent attempting to do PW, stoning, or sleeping. Totally fun.
Speaking of PW, mock dry run today was rather bleh. Like we were totally unprepared and our powerpoint wasn't even done up properly. But okay at least it's just a mock dry run and not the actual thing yet. Plus the teachers really don't look at content I felt so relieved hahahaha. Means we could suddenly talk nonsense [but still relevant to the slides] and as long as we carry it off smoothly, nothing bad's gonna happen. Hahaha. But yeah then there came the comment where either Jaslyn or I have to be first/last speaker and I was just going "Oh nonono I cannot do either of those positions why do you think I'm in the middle." but agh. ):
Need to ask my mum if I can cancel Econs tuition on Sunday since we're going to Jaslyn's house to practise. Humdum.

Losing a lot of oomph for things. I need to get back some drive for something or else life just isn't going to be worth living.

My daddy booked a badminton court for the family to play badminton the Sunday before we get our results back haha. -excites- Hope nothing comes around and screws it up.

Recently my laptop has been screwing up and I feel so sad because it's been with me throughout my RGS education and has all my little snippets of life in here. Including PTs and essays that were typed out, and pictures which were from so long ago I totally forgot about them! I hope it doesn't die on me. Ever. Which is pretty wishful thinking, but still. While I'm quite annoyed at the lagging, and its random disconnecting from the internet, it's a nice laptop! And it's considerably light. Much lighter than my newer laptop [Which I don't use as often and is such a waste seriously.] but sadly not as good to bring out of the house because of this chainsaw-like sound it makes because the internal fan kinda screwed up and I can never use it without this super-powered cooler or it would overheat and die. Sure, I could probably just transfer all the pictures and whatnot to the other laptop, but this one has sentimental value! Sigh.
As always, nothing lasts.

I NEED MY MUSE GRAHHH IT DESERTS ME AT THE WORST OF TIMES.

2011-10-08T23:09:00.003+08:00

So, today I finally got around to packing up my table and filing all my worksheets! Finished it all in like 2 hours, which is not bad considering the initial state of disorder my table was in. As evidenced here:

There's like Bio, and Chem, and Econs, and some random Friend of the Library thing that I got from NLB for being a volunteer, which was actually last year's stuff from SL during June hols hahaha. There's even a certificate somewhere in there. So official, ooh.

Yeah anyway, halfway through filing and packing, the mess kinda migrated to my bed. Which happens a lot, so nothing to be surprised about.

And this is how freaking thick my Bio file currently is. Hell it's thicker than Math okay, and Math has always, always been the fattest stack ever. Ever. If you want an estimate of how thick it is, it's about my hand's width, from thumb to little finger. That fat.

But all in a day's work and my table is neat and tidy and ready for Econs tuition tomorrow!
...
Except that I haven't finished my Econs homework ehehehe. Oops.

2011-10-07T18:07:00.000+08:00

Finally got to see RN'10 together in one place yesterday haha! Our plan to play Netball didn't work, because it rained. Rawr. And it was so rare for us to be able to meet up and the weather just refused to cooperate with us. ): [It's raining today too sighhh.] But yeah, we have awesome impromptu planning skills anyway, and we decided to go to J8 for nomz and movie. That was after a whole hour of choosing between Nex and J8, then deciding what movie to watch at J8. Seriously we are awesome haha!
Headed to Subway to eat dinner and waited around for the busybusy people to come join us after their meetings and all that in school, before we went to watch SHARK NIGHT! We just decided to watch it for the sake of screaming together haha. And the movie was like, at 9, so we figured that there wouldn't be a lot of people watching it at that time so we could scream more...liberally? Hahaha.
Either way, the movie was a dumb movie and it was a just-for-screams kinda thing. Killing off people for the sake of killing people, that kinda stuff. And that was why a lot of elements in the movie was like oh-so-convenient, like a lighter being able to light even though it was dropped in water? Uh, methinks not. But yeah it was just senseless fun screaming together and commenting on the movie about how stupid the characters were. XD Admittedly it was a bit gory, coming from the director of Final Destination and everything, which was why Jodi and Yirong couldn't take it halfway and sneaked into the adjacent theatre to watch Real Steel hahaha! And omg halfway through the movie, the screen froze and we were all like "Omg what's this is it part of the show?" and Yihui even thought that water would start flooding the cinema and we'd all die, or a shark would come bursting out of the screen and attack us HAHA. The ending was also pretty stupid, and it was predictable, but we all screamed anyway HAHA. Love RN'10 uber-much. We need to meet up again and have a proper outing/playing Netball time, maybe even going back to RG to play there! :3

Haven't started filing all my stuff! OR DOING MY ECONS TUITION HOMEWORK BOOOOOO. ): In fact I kinda just slacked today away with watching more BOF, then getting sian because it was starting to feel draggy, so I watched Friends With Benefits, then watching the Dream Concert videos and going mad during SHINee's RDD perf and the dance break started and Key did some chest-pumping thing and my mind turned to much and I squealed. Ehehehe. X3 TOO HOT TO HANDLE SERIOUSLYYYYYYY.

I also need to start dieting + exercising because I am getting bloody heavy okay. PUT ON FREAKING 3 KILOS WTF. This is it. I am going to tell my aunt I will not eat anything else but fruits for dinner starting from now. And no more snacks for me! Abstaining from my Snyder's and KitKat and Doritos and Twisties until another stressful situation comes along. Wth seriously how on earth did I gain so much weight ugh. ):

K need to start packing my room. Can't stand the random pieces of worksheets strewn all over the place. Some of them even notes from Sec3/4 that I dug up for my brother. [Which was pointless because he never looked at them anyway.]

2011-10-06T15:49:00.000+08:00

Finally finished catching up with my anime woohoo 12 weeks of no anime and I finished it within 3 days ehehehe. :D
Well, nothing too fascinating about Bleach. They only just ended with the stupid filler on Nozomi and I was just waiting for it to be over and done with.
Naruto was okay because they were finally moving along with getting Naruto to that turtle island to train with KillerBee, but then halfway through there were annoying shit fillers. Like that one with the pirates, seriously as awesome as pirates are, there is no way they would be able to hold their own against ninjas with all their jutsu and whatnot. In the end I skipped the rest of the eps after that. Still fillers right now though. :/ Then again it's not like they're on the verge of catching up with the manga so I don't really get why they need another filler. Thinking ahead maybe?
Fairy Tail is the best so far haha I even watched it last. Plus the episodes were mega easy to find, not like Bleach and Naruto, can find and wait for it to load until I fall asleep pssht. They finally concluded the Edolas arc! Mega heartwarming when I saw that the Edolas Mira and Elfman knew that Lisanna was from Earthland and that it was alright for her to leave without feeling bad. And then Edo-Mira just collapsed on the ground burying her hands in her face as Lisanna got sucked back through the anima and I was just ): the whole time. Although the reunion in Earthland was really heartwarming and I just kept smiling haha. And now, onwards to the S-Class arc! -excites-

Going to school later on haha. Leaving home at about 4.30 to meet RN'10 so exciting I can't wait to see all of them again. :D Apparently we're supposed to play evening Netball lol hope it works out coz our planning skills are just that good haha. But even if we don't play Netball, going for dinner after that is just as good, as long as we get to spend some time together. (:

OP script due awfully soon and apparently we're supposed to be so damned prepared for the dry run that it's akin to the actual one. Which means perfect powerpoint slides, smooth transitions, no reliance on cue cards, and I'm just sitting here going "Oh gee stress us out immediately after Promos why doncha?" but what to do, what to do.

Another thing is how I'm like mega pissed by my brother. He really needs to learn to take more responsibility for his work and not expect my mum to cover everything up for him. Seriously. His exams are here and he's going out more often than I am. AND MY EXAMS ARE OVER! Just today he came home after going God-knows-where in the morning and told me that he would be going to Changi Airport. And he left with just his wallet and handphone. I highly doubt he went there to study. -.- When is he going to learn that there isn't always going to be someone around to cover for him, take care of him when something goes wrong? Hell, my mum had to ask me to help him make History notes right on the day my Promos ended okay. Thing is, it wasn't even him asking me for help, but my mum. My mum, okay? Damn if anything he really needs a wake-up call. My mum won't scold him, I have no idea what my dad is doing, my brother doesn't take me seriously, and he won't bother listening to my aunt either. He's such a spoilt brat, seriously.

2011-10-04T17:25:00.003+08:00

Sianz. Hate the new Blogger! It won't let me use the skins on Blogskins and I had to spend more time than normal trying to make it non-template. Bsh. And I have no idea how to put my Cbox inside without messing up the skin sigh. Ohwells.
Promos are over and immediately after, there's PW to deal with.

Plenty of things to do right now! Finally I can watch my shows, work on JoSD [It's gonna be a year already omg.], and do a whole bunch of other stuff. (: Lotsa post-Promos plans to actualise as well! -excites-

In the meantime, I shall continue griping about the new Blogger. )<

2011-10-03T05:06:00.000+08:00

Promos-freedom in approximately 6 hours. Can't wait! Thinking back, I've been considerably less stressed mugging for Promos than for CTs. The only time when I actually lost it was while mugging Bio because there was just too much. And even in school I could still feel the tears prickling. But it's over now, and all that's left is Chem, which I don't know why, but I'm not feeling very pressured for Chem. I'm just flipping through my notes and reading it, but not so much of memorising it. If it were back in RGS I would have just memorised everything [like the nights of no sleep for mugging Hist+Chem or Hist+Bio] but now? I guess it's just me turning more unsensitive to grades, like what Joey said she was feeling too. Sure, they're still important, but I guess we just happen to feel that it's not important to the extent where we should sacrifice our sanity and well-being working so hard to attain excellent grades.

In any case, 6 hours. Still a long way to go, but just within reach.

When I get home, I will either flop down on the sofa/bed/whatever place I can sleep on and die till the next morning, or find enough adrenaline to stay up and watch 36 episodes of anime that I have forgone for the past 12 weeks just to focus on PW and mug for Promos.

2011-09-30T05:21:00.003+08:00

Can't remember anything for Bio. So freaking screwed. I am going to freak out during the exam and die. Die. Totally die. I should go do that.

2011-09-29T12:57:00.000+08:00

Screwing everything up so badly right now. I should just die. Worthless. Piece. Of. Shit. Why do I even bother?
What's the point if the end-result doesn't change?

2011-09-27T14:01:00.001+08:00

Day 1 of ~~hell~~ Promos. Not so bad, other than the fact that my essay was just a lot of floundering, and I didn't finish my AQ, and my initial summary only had 113 words out of 130. But okay. Moving on. I need to get into the mentality that this is just Promos. Things will get better. [Yeah right.]
Econs is up next. Needa revise Firms, forgot about all the IEoS stuff already. Humdum. May I survive this.

[edit] What. The hell. Did Blogger do to my blogskin. -.- [/edit]

2011-09-25T17:08:00.002+08:00

Not going to be able to finish everything. So screwed up. But agh what to do. [Get retained, maybe?] Ahh stop this. Haven't touched Econs for ages, how am I supposed to pass it? Damnit so unprepared. No study break, just a weekend to cover 4 subjects [3, if you don't count GP as a mugging subject but hey, need to study either way.] which totally isn't enough. Need to pass Econs and Math. Need to need to need to. Feeling like scrapping Bio but I can't. But. Agh. Help.

2011-09-17T10:51:00.002+08:00

People got exam you don't make them go to watch a movie just because you got free tickets that expire at the end of September and fuck this do NOT scold me when I want to study over watching a fucking movie for fucking free. Ugh pissing me off.

2011-09-16T22:53:00.002+08:00

There isn't even time to cry anymore. All that's left is rushing out work while juggling WR and mugging at the same time and I can't even cry myself to sleep because I simply slump over my unfinished work in absolute exhaustion, using up every ounce of my energy until I'm running on empty.
I'm not going to be able to finish my tuition homework. I want to cry. I want to scream until my face turns red and I'm left gasping for breath. I want to do something that reminds me that I am only human.

2011-09-14T04:28:00.000+08:00

Had a major freaking headache last night and I got so scared that I would have to miss school again so I went to sleep at like 9.30. Still feeling a little dizzy now but at least it's not a throbbing thing.
Stayed back with Jaslyn to do PW in school, all the way till 8.30. That was like 6 hours straight of PW, although I think we only got more productive like around 5plus, coz that was when the canteen got a lot quieter. So many things left to do and yet some people just can't be bothered to make the extra effort.

Somehow, a little part of my mind keeps telling me that it may be better if I get retained if I screw up Promos. Which seems very likely seeing as how screwed I am for Bio and Econs. Please let Math be better, please please please. I cannot afford to screw up Math again or I will just completely lose my mind.

2011-09-13T01:37:00.000+08:00

When did life become so loathsome to the extent that I can't even bear to see the sun rise to signal the beginning of another day?

2011-09-12T19:01:00.001+08:00

Life is so screwed up right now I don't even see myself making it past promos. And it's not just the bit about me failing that scares me, but the fact that I'm going to disappoint my parents, my mum especially, and my tuition teachers who spend so much time on their weekends going through questions with me, and I'm just so, so scared right now.
Time is running out, nothing is going right. I really can't.

2011-09-06T05:29:00.001+08:00

Well looky here, Blogger's got a new look. Hur, looks really minimalist.

Anyway, haven't exactly gotten the time to blog or anything like that but just to keep track of life...[i.e. ensuring that I still have a life...I think.]
So last Monday, went to Jaslyn's house all the way in BOON LAY for PW. Actually we were pretty productive there despite digressing to watch YouTube videos, but considering our usual productivity levels, yes we were pretty productive.
Spent Tuesday chionging EoM like a mad person and I only slept for like 2 hours or so, which made me pretty high on Wednesday. Hehhh.
Thursday had Teachers' Day celebrations in school! ANIMAX'S JOHNNY-GOT-HIT-BY-A-BUS WAS MAD FUNNY OMG. I laughed until I got a freaking stitch okay. Went back to RGS with Joey and Jiale and we met a lot of teachers and we also had this really nice long talk with 汤老师 in the staff lounge at Jblock. :D Chinese teachers are all so motherly haha. There was like this whole group of RGS girls in the staff lounge, all talking to Chinese teachers. (: And it was so heartwarming when the teachers were like, "There's no need for presents, you girls coming back to see us is a wonderful gift on its own." Had this major long, philosophical, partly-cynical HTHT with Joey and Jiale at our usual RGS hangout in Far East haha. Halfway through we were even like, "Omg sit until butt pain, let's walk around for a bit." So we went to walk a bit then we sat down again HAHAHA.
K then Friday I was a sad sad girl chionging all my tuition homework. Actually, I've been choinging homework since Friday. All for the sake of dedicating today and tomorrow to mugging for the Chem Mock on Thursday. So fun.

WHERE THE HELL DO WE HAVE TIME TO DO ALL THESE SHIT AND STILL STUDY. HUH? HUH?! Fuck this.

So, the to-do list for the holiday [homework-wise, not mugging-wise]:

Bio DNA Class Test thingy
Bio Bacteria Tutorial?
Math 7B Tutorial
Math 8 Tutorial
Econs Market Failure Tutorial (Case Study 3, Outlines for Essay Qn 1 and 4)
Econs Tuition Questions (Essay Qn 5 and 6)
Organic Chem Tutorial
Chem Tuition Questions

2011-08-28T21:15:00.002+08:00

Had some semi-HTHT with my mum on the way back from tuition yesterday. I was telling her about my post-promos plan to work out what I wanted to do with my life so I figured might as well start from something that I life and well, see where I'll go from there. She seemed okay with it. [Then again at this point in time she doesn't know what grades I'll be getting for promos. So.]
From there we sorta moved on to how it feels like all we can ever get, all we must get in JC are straight A's. As much as we'd like to say that grades aren't everything, they sure seem to be, especially seeing as how we're students. My mum says there are bigger things in life, things that aren't dependent on grades, but as we went on and on, we realised that a lot of things do lead us back to square one. Not to mention how I don't seem to have any other redeeming qualities like a willingness to stick my neck out for the sake of society's minority groups. Nor am I particularly outstanding at anything I've done so far. [Case in point: Netball. Actually, it's the only case I have. Whoopee.]
My Chem tutor said something about how we shouldn't underestimate A levels, but neither should we overestimate it. And then he looked me in the eye and said, "And you should never underestimate yourself."

What am I going to do in life?

My Math tutor today commented on how I don't seem to do well under exam conditions. I don't know how he managed to come to that conclusion based on a single differentiation class test but it's sorta true, I think. Or I might just be consoling myself regarding my grades from CTs.
Promos are in 29 days by the way. That's less than 6 days per subject left. Plus PW. And homework. Which I have to do now. Oh and there's the Chem quiz. And Chem mock. And Bio test. And GP essay. And EoM. Freak.
Oh God I don't get Reaction Kinetics. Or anything else they taught in Bio ever since CTs ended. I am so screwed I am going to diediedie. With all this shit of overemphasising the importance of getting straight As [and more] it's no wonder more teens are getting depression [which includes those undiagnosed cases, mind you] and/or killing/cutting themselves. Screw this.

Y'know, the school keeps feeding us stuff about all this glory of straight A's. Getting accepted to Harvard, Yale, whatever Ivy League places, even NUS and a gazillion other scholarships. Sounds fun, but I'd like to know what happens to the people who don't get straight As? What happens to them?

What happens to me?

2011-08-27T12:21:00.001+08:00

Sick + headache + tons of schoolwork = extremely irritated person. -sigh-
Not helping that I have to leave for tuition in about an hour. Yay.

2011-08-23T22:07:00.002+08:00

Must. Stay. Positive.

I've been seriously considering certain things in life, and well, gonna start working on it. Like for real. No more half-heartedness.

PW interview yesterday was pretty good, despite getting lost in the CBD with Jaslyn hahaha.
HANGMAN IS LIKE AWESOMEZ. Love how our class randomly bonds over games like this. GHANA!!!
Man Utd got a clean sheet against Tottenham. Damnit Welbeck played mega well. Like hello a freaking nice header to score a goal and some OMGWUTWAZZAT back heel to set up the second goal?

I hate school. Well maybe not school itself, more like the education. System.

So many questions, so much on my mind
So many answers I can’t find
I wish I could turn back time
I wonder why
- Everybody Hurts, Avril Lavigne

2011-08-21T21:07:00.002+08:00

Feeling so sick and tired of just about everything right now. Working so damned hard for nothing because good just isn't good enough anymore.

2011-08-18T01:02:00.001+08:00

Holy snapping fishcakes there's EoM consult! .__.
Anyway gave up on GP coz I could only think of 2 topic sentences for each question and the 3rd one refuses to come to me. No inspiration at all right now. Or maybe it's because I still write in the 2:1 way rather than 3:1 so my brain capacity can only do so much. Ohwell.
Going to sleep. Yay.

2011-08-17T23:12:00.000+08:00

So it's been a hectic past few days, but Math test and SPAs are finally over and done with! (: That just leaves us with PW and Promos to worry about. Aha...ha...ha. Right.
I realised I have this tendency to shove everything to one side when one particular thing takes priority. Like, I can only have one priority at the forefront. If I have two exams on the same day, I'd study for the one I would do better in overall or something, and totally ignore the other one. [Like last year during EOYs where I only mugged Bio through the night and for History...I studied in that 1 hour break between the two papers.] So like this week, all I've done is mug for Bio on Sunday, mug for Math on Monday, and mug for Chem on Tuesday, plus chionging out GP AQ too but that was kind of a no-choice situation since it was due today.
Not sure why, but today when my dad fetched my mum after fetching me from school, my mum asked me if I had finished my homework [after asking me about Chem SPA which I told her was okay because if I said it wasn't okay, she would murder me, and if I said it was great, she'd expect me to get full marks and I wouldn't like to potentially disappoint her which would lead to her murdering me. Figuratively.] I had replied rather cynically, "Finished? Since when is work ever finished? Are you expecting a miracle?" I attribute my crankiness to the fact that I had been sleeping in the car before we reached her workplace, but I guess there is truth in there. Feeling kinda guilty for sort-of snapping at my mum though.
I've got three essay outlines due tomorrow but I'm not really in the mood for writing, although one of the questions is rather similar to our SS topic on globalization and well, anything to reminisce about the good old days in RGS. Actually I have a lot on my mind right now so I should just let it all out, right? [Well of course. This is a blog, what else am I to do with it?]

Today, we had a talk during assembly block, and it made me realise a lot of things. For one, we are way, way too elitist. And while some of us are already like that on our own accord, others are being led to believe that they are better than others, the cream of the crop, best of the best, etc. Why? Because even the principal promotes it. Showing us figures of scholarships, and overseas education, and when Raffles isn't shown to be taking up at least 50% of the figures, comments like "he wanted more diversity", and "I added that school in 12th place as a comparison" get thrown around and in all honesty, I was stunned. I don't know, maybe it's just me reading things wrongly, like how they are actually trying to motivate us to try much harder, especially after our rather dismal CT results, but not like this. Definitely not like this. In the end, the entire thing just left something akin to a bitter taste in my mouth. And it's bad enough that I'm starting to dislike [very much] this whole meritocracy system where grades [and more, but grades come first] are what's important. Very important. So, elitism. When members of the public complain about how we're so full of ourselves, and the school semi-reprimands us about it, whose fault is it truly?
Speaking of which, the talk also mentioned something about competitiveness - how people of our generation are willing to stick out their foot to trip someone next to them [i.e. their friends] just to get ahead in life. Seriously? Are we all that selfish? I really do hope not. I get that a certain level of competitiveness is good and all, but to take it to that extent where friendship takes a backseat? When we hear of instances like this, my guess is that most of us would be shocked. We'd understand, somewhat, but we'd still be shocked. "What kind of horrible friend is this?" But for all we know, when put under that same situation, under the same conditions, how many of us would throw away our regard and reach out for that scholarship or university spot thinking, "It's mine, and nothing is going to stand in my way." Like Ms Jennifer Tay [at least, I think it was her...] used to tell our class back in Sec1: you only show your true colours when there is no one else around. I don't know. I would think that I'd rather lose that university spot, lose that scholarship, than lose myself, my family, my friends. Competitiveness and rivalry is good to some extent, but if it really came down to it, I'd rather choose the people I love over anything else.
Conversely, in seeking out to do our best, some of us provide a bit too much help to our friends, which isn't even helping in actuality. [You know what I'm talking about.] Integrity. I see none. And you know what the worst thing is? That even after receiving this oh-so-wonderful help, they claim it as their effort. I scoff at that. Or in other cases, they try and act like it was the most difficult thing they have ever seen in their life. Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. God help me, I feel like screaming at some people but no.

I'm starting to hate a lot of things in this world. Things, people, thoughts, actions.

The world is so full of imperfections. In a way, I guess that's the beauty of it. What's the point of living if you know that everything is going to run smoothly, if everything you do will succeed? We will not know how to treasure things, and grow complacent. But sometimes, I really wish that life was perfect. I want my life to work out, I want my friends' lives to work out, I want to be able to support my parents so that they can live their lives contentedly and I will not overwork and neglect them in the process of doing so, I want my brother to start taking ownership and realise that in real life, not everything is free.
The grass is always greener on the other side, I suppose.

Gonna do this in relation to the last time I posted because life hasn't actually been anything else but studying recently, and as it will be for the next few [many] weeks.

Managed to find some time over the weekend [Saturday night actually] to spend time with my family where we went to Changi Village for a mega late dinner [or supper] and watched Liverpool vs Sunderland there! Liverpool drew though. ):
Thankyou God for allowing me to pull through Bio and Chem SPA without many problems, and for making my papercut not hurt during Chem SPA when the acid was dripping out of the bottle and down the burette onto my hand.
My mum. She's so great, really. Sometimes I really do feel like I'm letting her down, but even if I bitch about her here sometimes, I do love her a lot. Very much.

I am still disappointed [and appalled] by many people in our school. Some of them people I actually know. It's just that, I thought since this was of a greater gravity than everything else we had been through before, people would be more aware of the severity of their actions. Guess not.

Long post. Whee. So much for not wanting to write. Shall start on essay outlines, then finish up Photosynthesis tutorial. Except the essay maybe.

2011-08-13T11:11:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, I finished my Chem Reaction Kinetics tutorial! Left a couple of questions blank though but I'm hoping later when I go for tuition everything will get cleared up because I am really really clueless about Reaction Kinetics and did the entire tutorial by flipping through the lecture notes. :/ I also finished my Econs essay for tuition yay. And coincidentally my Econs teacher wants the class to do the essay as well so teehee. Was supposed to do Bio tutorials after dinner but I think my brain just totally died and so I slept at 9.30 and I only woke up at 10 this morning. That's 12 hours of sleep, and while I was thinking what a waste of time it was, my mum was all, "It's good, that just shows how tired you've been and that you just need a lot of rest. It's your body telling you to take a step back and relax." But then there's the problem of having no time to relax because, well, this is how Singapore works I guess.

Went home early for the first time in weeks! Reached home before 3 muahaha. And I have found a new way to spend my time going home on the MRT! By reading manga/fanfiction hehehe. Better than stoning into space or something.
I watched Music Bank. On the TV. I miss doing that. :/
I stuck to my schedule until after dinner where I died. But hey finishing an Econs essay and Chem Reaction Kinetics tutorial and some funny Chem practice thingy all before dinner is an accomplishment k. On a FRIDAY somemore.

Bio and Chem SPA next week. Scared. The relief Bio teacher today was all "If you don't get your full marks, you are in trouble." and suddenly the pressure increased like tenfold.

Apparently there's no Math tuition today, just when there's Math test next week sigh.

2011-08-12T02:21:00.002+08:00

Feeling rather moody in general right now, even though it's a Friday, because there's just so much left undone and I'm feeling so screwed up.

Went to eat at Eighteen Chefs with Jaslyn for PW interview heh.
The interview was quite okay, albeit awkward...But it was okay. All is good.
Gradually starting to understand Reaction Kinetics. Damn slowly though, and there aren't any answers so I get mega paranoid about my answers and I totally have no confidence in answering the questions so I'm doing the tutorial mega slowly and I do not have the luxury of time to be doing it slowly!!! :/

Apparently, the GO lady did not submit our PW WR to our teacher, so we're screwed. Also I have to study for Bio SPA, Math test, Chem SPA, which will be on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday respectively, do my Econs tuition essay, and there is a GP class timed-practice today. Screw. This. Shit.

2011-08-10T23:36:00.002+08:00

Sigh I feel like I've been doing a lot of work. In fact I finished my entire Math 7A tutorial, Math tuition homework, Chem tuition homework [24 freaking questions on Enthalpy, bloody hell.] and Chem remedial tutorial in two days. TWO DAYS. Which were holidays, mind you. Oh wait, what holidays? Rephrase: days where I have no lessons to attend.
On the plus side I went for lunch with my daddy today. (: And ate slice ice with him. Mango slice ice. :D

School tomorrow it's a long day sigh hope we do something fun for PE hee.
Work plan for the rest of the week:

Chem Reaction Kinetics Tutorial
Econs tuition essay
STUDY FOR YOUR SPA YOU STUPID GIRRRRRL

Ate slice ice with my daddy after lunch today hee. :D
Somehow, I managed to finish one chapter of JoSD during my dinner + bathing break. Woohoo.
A little slow, but...EVANESCENCE'S NEW SINGLE WHAT YOU WANT IS OUTTT OMG! I am spasming.

Relapse of the dark disease. I seriously wonder what I'm doing this for. Is there a point in continuing anymore?

Gonna hurry up and pack my bag and get into bed before midnight! Yosh!

2011-08-10T01:26:00.000+08:00

Went out for family lunch! :D [Although it was at this place where the smoke-free zone is damn near the smoking area and well, there was basically no difference between the two zones.]
I talked to a cat. :3
Somehow I managed to find time to read Suite Francaise. I will probably realise later that I didn't actually have time to read by finding out that I have things to do that I haven't done but ohwell.

Didn't watch the National Day Parade on TV. ): [Curse you Chem homework.]

2011-08-09T17:58:00.002+08:00

Suddenly this memory from long ago just popped up into my mind. It was back when my dad used to play this spontaneous game of hide-and-seek with me and my bro whenever we were walking home. He'd walk far ahead of us and duck behind a pillar to scare us when we walked past. And there was this once, where my dad was walking me home from school, and he hid behind a pillar, but I knew he was hiding and walked by the other side and found my dad instead. I laughed, feeling oh-so-proud of foiling my dad's plan to scare me, but there was this lingering sense of guilt afterwards. Initially, I figured it was because I felt bad for ruining my dad's fun. On hindsight, maybe there was something in his expression that day that showed some reluctance and disbelief that I was growing up so quickly, that I would no longer be so easily amused nor tricked. And I had reminded him of that fact.

2011-08-09T14:25:00.001+08:00

Oh sure, go ahead and ruin everybody's day.

2011-08-09T01:07:00.002+08:00

National Day Celebrationsss! [Not as high as back in RGS but still, the human train bit while singing songs was fun hahaha.]
Got treated to lunch at Manhattan Fish Market hehe.
ICE CREAM AT SWENSEN'SSS. :3

Gotta keep in mind that different people have different boundaries and one should never overstep them.

2011-08-07T23:24:00.002+08:00

Haha this 3-good-things-1-bad-thing is actually prompting me to type out proper posts.
Well, today was a pretty sian day actually. Had Econs and Math tuition and gosh it was baaad. I got 11/25 for a practice Econs essay sigh. And the Math test was bleh I still can't do functions without my brain malfunctioning. On the plus side I sorta understand Integration better now so yay.
Basically, in between tuition, other than eating, I was playing this game on my mum's iPhone called Ellie - Help Me Out...Please and it's the most freaking creepiest game I've ever played on an iPhone. Ever. [But that probably isn't saying much since the other games I play on iPhones are like TapTap or MapleStory: Thief Version or Angry Birds hahaha.] It's like one of those escape-from-a-room kinda games with a morbid twist. Solved it with Zach haha we were mad frustrated at this point where we kept losing the game but yay in the end we made it through. But omg it's super freaky okay and somemore we were still playing it like past 11. [Yeah we only just completed the game hahaha.]
Oh and we went for some National Day dinner thing near White Sands. It was some GRC thingy and people like TCH and TSL and YAM went haha. [Guess who I'm referring to hehehe.] Then at the end there was a fireworks display for a full 7 minutes okay. SEVEN MINUTES. Damn awesome. It was a good decision to have a table at the back. (Y)

Had damn freaking nice pasta with beefballs for lunch made by my mum haha. She even joked about how it was better than EighteenChefs and she was just ONE CHEF.
MapleStory on iPhone. 'Nuff said.
FIREWORKS OMGZ. -spazzzzzz-

PW. Freaking PW. That, and I have a gazillion questions to do from Chem tuition, an essay to do again for Econs tuition, and Math questions for Math tuition. All this on top of work I already have from school. And Bio+Chem SPAs are next week. What joy.

I feel like doing some JoSD until it's time for bed. Humdum, maybe I will.

2011-08-06T22:40:00.005+08:00

Chem tuition was pretty okay today actually, although I still feel really uncomfortable with the tutor coz he has a really old-fashioned way of thinking. Like grades-are-everything, if-you-get-a-single-B-you-die, be-a-doctor-lawyer-banker-for-money-not-because-you-love-being-one, stuff like that. And he seems to think that people in the RP are all slackers or something, at least that's the vibe I get. -shrugs- And he love dumping work on me okay. Last week he gave me like 20 stoichio questions to do. This week it's energetics. Sigh.
Went for Borders clearance sale after Chem tuition with my mum! :D Met up with Banana there and we scoured all the racks [Are they called racks?] for books heehee. It was really tiring though, looking for books that are really good and are what I want. Found a couple of fictional-history novels, some of which were related to the Tudor reign! Excites! I even found a book by Juliet Marillier woohoo. In total, that's 11 books. I still haven't finished reading Suite Francaise by Irene Nemirovsky or the Black Magician Trilogy by Trudi Caravan, and just last weekend I bought another book, Mother's Ruin by Nicola Barry. That's a total of 15 and a half books left to read. Not to mention Bloodlines by Richelle Mead is coming out end August and Destined by P.C. Cast and Kristin Cast end October! Going to study awfully hard so that I can read all these books to my heart's content after Promos.

BORDERS CLEARANCE SALE WOOHOO.
Had dinner with my mum at Burger King hahaha.
Caught up with some Kpop stuffums! Like Suju's new song, Mr Simple, which I quite like hehe, and Infinite's and TeenTop's songs are pretty nice too! And Miss A and 2NE1! Heh. :D

I got Math test during tuition tomorrow sigh. ):

My 11-book-haul hee.

2011-08-06T09:07:00.003+08:00

Sigh. Long weekend, but so many things to do. All the work that I finished doing before IHC Sports started [because I knew I wouldn't be able to do much during IHC] has now brought me level with where the teachers finished going through. Annoyingz. So much to do, far too little time.
In the end I didn't go for the clearance sale yesterday and stayed back in school to do Math until my daddy came. Not sure if I have time to go today or tomorrow either. Sigh. Maybe after Chem tuition or something.

This is like backlogged from yesterday:

Managed to finish my EoM. Phew.
Caught like 3 Acolytes. In one day.
[I can't think of anything else.]

So. Bloody. Tired. [So many things I could write here, like how I didn't go for the clearance sale coz of work, and how I tried to do some JoSD to lift my mood but everything was just stuck and not flowing in my mind, and I don't understand Integration or Reaction Kinetics.]

Long weekend. PW. Math. Chem. Study. Study. Study. Time for fun? None.

2011-08-05T05:15:00.003+08:00

MANGA IS OUTTT~
My daddy fetched me to school! (:
Scored twice during PE floorball hee.

Fell asleep while doing EoM. ): [And there's no DGM this month! Again!]

So yeah, I only just finished my EoM. Woke up with a start when I realised that I was asleep on my bed and I didn't recall falling asleep and totally died when I realised it was almost 4, which left me with less than 2 hours to rush out EoM. Thankfully I managed to finish it. [Shall be one of my good-things-of-today later.]
Not sure if I should go to Expo after school for the Borders Clearance Sale. Maybe if I feel like it, but I would be alone and in my school uniform and I don't want to look like some elitist loner or something. :/ Ohwells.
Ending school early today yay. (: Need to decide soon on whether I should go for the Borders thing or do work in school until my daddy ends work. But books from 2bucks onwardsss omg tempting.

Gotta be a better person. I need to learn the art of being able to talk to people about their faults without sounding annoyed at them. The thing is I can totally be nice to them but I can't talk to them about what they do that annoys me without sounding annoyed. Sigh.

2011-08-04T01:11:00.003+08:00

Last day of IHC was pretty good. In fact, school in general was pretty good, other than Chem lecture which I didn't pay much attention in and I think I will be quite screwed for it because it seemed to involve a lot of calculations but I was chionging studying for Econs. :/ Ohwell.
Had kickboxing module for PE and whoa it's freaking intense okay. Even if it's just shadow-punching and stuff, it's really tiring. Tina and I were sweating like madz. HAHA.
Oh and for Chem prac we had Mock SPA debrief. I got 14/21 which was quite lousy lah but omg I'm so glad my faked-results were pretty accurate hahaha. Then we had to do a repeat of our experiments to make sure our practical skills were okay and omg my results were awesome okay. Max temperature and neutralisation volume were right smack in the middle of the range of accurate values. (Y) Go me~ And my graph was mega nice too hee.
There was Bio makeup lecture after that sigh. Actually it was quite okay because what she went through wasn't really the mega in-depth kind. Like it was the a bit "duhh" kind of information. Like we already learnt about thylakoids and grana in RGS and a bit in Cell Structure earlier, and from Physics in RG [HAHAHAHA.] we know that leaves don't absorb all kinds of light and reflect green, mostly, hence they look green. :D [Just saying, I loved Optics in Physics.]
And our class is mega epic. Because Bio lecture was in LT1, we thought that our Econs test would be in LT1 as well, but no omg it was in LT2 then like when we realised, we all faster ran out of the LT so paiseh HAHAHA. And in the end we had to sit in the front row in LT2 sianz. But all was good because I think the lecture test was quite...passable? Okay I bet some parts were damn screwed lah like omg I totally didn't know what I was talking about for the last question and I didn't exactly manage to finish it but at least it's not counted and I don't think I'll get 4/25 like the first lecture test...
ANYWAYZ. Chionged down to the track after that for IHC TRACK~ Did javelin with Nurul and omg we were such retards okay. We as in all of the girls who took part in javelin. Like there were super hilarious moments which we did stupid things. Like Liz whacking her head while throwing the javelin, and Qiao Yoke hitting her neck which made this super loud sound and we were all just 8O at her. HAHA. But okay not baaad I got 4th overall k hehe. Only lost to people like Lynn, Liz and Qiao Yoke who all already have super-developed arm muscles while I'm like flaaab. Heh.
Started warming up a bit for 4x100m which I was super excited for coz like, finally I'm doing a track event that I actually want to do. [Please, dumping me in high jump instead of my 100m? My 100m? Pssht.] AND WE WON WE WON WE WON. Omg it was so epic okay MT totally won by a hell lot. I was the last runner and I was like damn scared that the other houses were right behind me coz I couldn't see them at all coz MT was like lane 1...But omg Sherly, Mag and Christine were all super fast by the time the baton got to me we were mega in the lead already haha. And Mag did a diving pass to Christine so coolz. :D Glad that I managed to end the IHC Sports season on a high! Apparently MT did quite well for track lor, like 3rd or something heh.

MT WON GIRLS 4x100m~ :D
I finally get to do an event I actually want to do in T&F.
Econs lecture test wasn't that baaad.

!#@#%$^&* EoM. -.-

2011-08-03T05:48:00.004+08:00

I finished my tuition homework.
We didn't get raped during PW.
There was a 1.5hour break yesteday.

I fucking fell asleep and haven't studied anything for Econs.

[edit]Okay I changed it because I realise when my mind was all "Shit I'm screwed for Econs" I really neglected all the truly good and happy things that happened. So in actuality:

I finished my tuition homework!
Snyder'sss. Hee. :3
JoSD has a new chapter woohoo.

And well yeah, same for the bad thing...Ohwell.[/edit]

2011-08-02T18:28:00.003+08:00

Okay so I'm going to start this thing to make myself see the good in every day and I have to list out 3 things that made me happy/grateful/generally-positive-emotion, and then I will have 1 bad thing [If any.] and I must make sure I can get over that bad thing. Gleaned it off some self-help book that was unwrapped in Popular yesterday hee.
Actually I was supposed to start yesterday but I was majorly tired after IHC Basketball so I just died the moment I got home. [After bathing and eating dinner, of course.]
So yeah, yesterday:

I shot a 3-pointer during IHC Basketball. Woooooo~
I did not sprain my ankle during IHC Basketball. (Y)
My mummy made yummy curry noodles for my dinner.

I was being a bit cranky in the morning and was rather un-enthu about cheer-off. :/

Well, actually the cranky bit was just a sian-it's-Monday-I-have-to-survive-the-whole-week-all-over-again feeling. Which was kinda gone by the time Chem remedial started so yay. Oh and omg I accidentally scratched my pimple during Chem remedial and it was like whooo mini-volcano spewing blood. Just ask Tina, my tissue paper was like red splotches all over. .__.
Anyway to talk about IHC Basketball, it was so damn fun omg. Sadly I only got to play 2 games coz of Chem remedial but omg okay it was just awesomez. And my first ever 3-pointer in a semi-competitive game woohoo. :D Plus I got a couple of taps and I DRIBBLE THE BALLLLL. -is proud of self- In the end I think MT girls got like 2nd, tied with MR. BW won first...Sianz. HAHA kidding, kidding. I support my friends, not the houses!
Crashed when I got home sigh. Supposed to nap for like half an hour and my mum was supposed to wake me up at 10.30 but when I got up on my own I was just like "Oh snap it's 5?!" before I decided half an hour of work wasn't going to be productive so I just went back to sleep. Heh.

School today was okay. Felt damn sleepy during PW. And omg EoM is due this Friday and she only tells us TODAY. WTH CAN SHE BE A BIT MORE FORWARD-THINKING? Still complain about us being last-minute in PW. Bsh.
Econs lecture was okay, I sort of understand it but I think I need to read the notes on my own to really get it.
And yay GP, Ms Naidu was in a good mood. :D She was so freaky on Monday, she didn't even comment on Foong's monk-hood. :/ But sigh got GP AQ to write and do not have pointsss. Sigh.

Shall post on the 3-good-things-1-bad-thing later just before I sleep.

IHC Track tomorrow, Econs test tomorrow, omg wish me luck for Javelin how the heck do you throw it?!

2011-07-31T23:42:00.000+08:00

咦
怎麼這世界已經沒有人相愛
怎麼這世界每個人都不快樂
怎麼這世界每個人都愛別人不愛自己
- Love !, Hebe

2011-07-31T18:49:00.002+08:00

Everyone is here for a purpose. Whether it's to eradicate poverty, bring about world peace, or to simpler things like bringing a smile to a person's face, teaching little kids the importance of love; bottom line is that there is a purpose.
And what if I'm the only anomaly?

My mum is trying really hard, getting me tuition, spending money on the tuition, which isn't cheap at all, and all this is so that I can do better in my studies. I really should appreciate her more. And while I can understand her actions, sometimes I feel like I should just tell her to stop, that I just can't do it and she's wasting her efforts on a failure.

Last night, I had a lot of problems floating around in my head. They just kept coming up, in a vicious cycle where one thing led to another and it all just came back to the same problem. And in the midst of it all, a seed was planted. A seed that sprouted into something that grew, propagating this one notion within my mind.
Initially, I was shocked that I would even think of it, and this shock gradually turned into disgust, disgust directed at myself. But then, as the idea spread, I became sort of desensitized towards it, and it suddenly seemed...viable. And I felt scared. This dark presence in my mind is the disease. It will spread and poison me from the inside out - I know it can, and it will. I want to tell my mum, but she's got enough on her mind. She doesn't need to know that her daughter is a failure and more. [Or less, depending.]

I am giving up. I can feel it. I tell myself that I can't, but I am.

2011-07-31T02:46:00.000+08:00

Torn between being tired of living and scared of dying.

2011-07-30T17:28:00.003+08:00

What exactly am I supposed to do?
Die.
Because I'm a worthless being.

2011-07-30T16:24:00.002+08:00

"Nothing less than straight As for someone with your PSLE score."

At that very moment, I felt one part of me die.

The pressure keeps building. I'm starting to feel like Atlas; there is no other choice but to carry this burden that has been forced upon me, this burden which is far too much for me to handle alone.
Lately, everything I do feels so forced, completely insincere. I start questioning everything I do, I doubt my own decisions, I surrender to everything. I'm getting torn apart by this disease eating away at me from the inside, unnoticed.

2011-07-28T20:27:00.003+08:00

Tired.

I feel so used lately, like I'm something that exists for people to manipulate. I do not have a choice, nor do I have a say. Getting tossed around like a limp, lifeless ragdoll, hur, not what I expected. Like seriously I feel like something on a computer desktop getting clicked and dragged and dumped into random folders at every whim and fancy of blehnehfeh.
Basically I am very miffed that me joining high jump and not 100m was a fucking waste because MT would have gotten 3rd with or without me there. And I am damn sure I am much better at sprinting than vaulting over a pole onto smelly, blue landing mats. And whatever elaborate plan you had about getting many participants to make up for the lack of quality totally screwed up since there were only two, TWO MT people there for high jump. So yes I am pissed off. And as for whether I'm good at javelin, gee, well, I don't know you put me there because we didn't have enough people.
URRRRRRRRGH.

TOMORROW IS FRIDAY I AM SO HAPPY. IHC NETBALL. :D Have to get through school first though sigh. Ohwell there's Math hee. :D And Chem omg Chem, I'm understanding Equilibrium okay go me. I can actually remember the Le Chatelier's Principle shit haha. For now need to do Entropy though, don't know what temperature leading to 'packets' of what and randomness of what and disorder...Bleh.
Oh, and there's PW to chiong wheeee why I am in charge of Chapter 3 when I don't know what in the fuck is the Singapore shit which wasn't even done properly by the previous person in charge of it.

I have so many things I want to vent RAWRRR.

Getting the feeling that I'm going to crash today. But need to do Chem, boo. And call participants omg I better not get tasked with calling 30-odd people to remind them to go for their IHCs like on Monday okay that took me over an hour to do which is not fun. Just when I was getting ready to study for Chem Mock SPA somemore.

Tired. So very tired.

2011-07-27T05:25:00.001+08:00

Fuck this, I'm gonna screw mock SPA. And everything else.

2011-07-25T20:39:00.002+08:00

Suddenly realised what exactly it is I got myself into. The next few days are definitely going to be tiring. It hasn't even started yet and I'm already feeling weighed down. Maybe it's just too much. Two weeks. Looking forward to the end of 3rd August.

Harry Potter was great. I can't really describe how I felt while watching it. And now it's over. Bittersweet. Didn't really full-out cry but I definitely teared at a lot of parts. Like at Fred, Lupin, Tonks. Worse so when it was Snape. Every single part with Snape, damn it.
Went back to RGS after that and omg our timing super nice okay. We reached school right when lessons ended and we camped outside the staff room and saw Mr De Souza, Mr Thio, and Mr Yang! Talked to Mr Yang for a while then he said that the teachers were having a meeting at the CLC so he suggested we stalk the rest of them outside the CLC and omg we saw so many teachers! Didn't really get a chance to talk to them though because they were all rushing for the meeting but we did manage to talk to Mrs Wong for a bit since she was there early! Haha she was actually already in the CLC so we just waved at her from outside and she came out hee. :D Basically we just saw all our teachers there so funz.
After snacking at the canteen for a bit, we crashed a random classroom and did work! I FINISHED MY ECONS CASE STUDY 3 WOOHOOOO. I intended to start on Chem 6B but ohwell. At least I tried to clear as much work as I could and finishing Econs is a great feat.

And bloody hell I just spent one hour calling all the participants for ALL the IHCs tomorrow. Fuck. So much for getting my Chem done. Okay well there's like the one and a half hour break tomorrow so I shall chiong Chem then.
Sigh, too busy for my own good. Don't like how House Comm is like in RJC. It's very different from RGS. Too calculative, too pragmatic; it's like we're all pawns, basically. Joining for the fun of it isn't the point anymore. It's not like winning isn't important, but if it becomes the main reason for joining, rather than just because you would enjoy playing it, then I really don't see the point. It's something I realised. Passion, interest, that's what's important.
Just saying, Kreios is the name of a Greek titan who got thrown into the depths of Tartarus with the rest of the Titans after they lost the war with the Olympians. He suffered in the deepest pits of Hades' Underworld and hardly had a part to play in the war. Mmhm. Just saying, coz I'm a Greek mythology geek.

2011-07-25T08:07:00.002+08:00

The past few days have been awfully hectic! PW interview on Wednesday, crazily chionging homework on Thursday, staying back late in school on Friday and Saturday [till like 11 and 9pm respectively] for mass spamming of calls for IHC participants, then two tuitions in a day on Sunday. Phew.
So thankful that there's today, Monday, which is a holidayyy~ :D Going to watch HARRY POTTER with Joey! So our plan for today is: meet up at Somerset at 9:50, saunter over to Cine and get tickets, spazzzzz until 10.30 when the movie starts, spazzzzzz even more during the movie, cry when it's over [or at appropriate scenes during the movie, but almost every scene will be appropriate] and provide tissues for anyone and everyone who needs them [EVERYONE.], spazzzzz more after the movie while having lunch, STUDY, and spazzzzzzz while studying. Great plan. :D
The next few days after today is going to be insane too. IHC Touch Rugby, Netball match at SSP, yay Thursday I think I get a break, IHC Netball on Friday. So thankful I finished most of my tutorials already.

Recently I've been having this problem of falling asleep when I don't want to. It's like I have unfinished things and I tell myself, "No, you have to stay awake until you finish this shit." But in the end I just pass out before I actually get anything done. Must be the lack of KitKat omgz better get my mum to buy more heh.

Alrighty time to bathe haha need to leave home by 8:50 teehee. :D

2011-07-19T20:39:00.002+08:00

Today was an okay day because I finished my Math 6B tutorial and we had a happy slack Econs lecture.
It was not okay because of PW, plus we're starting on Integration for Math, plus my mum just told me my tuition [For Econs and Math at least.] is starting this Sunday. I have tuition on a Sunday, tuition for TWO subjects on a Sunday. What joy.

On the plus side, I got a really nice letter which totally overrules all bad things that happened today and therefore, today is the first, genuinely good day I've had in a while. (: I can gladly say today I nearly cried in public, only because I was happy and touched, so thank you, so very much.
And also, I received chocolates of love and encouragement on Friday which I can't believe I forgot to mention, which really lifted my spirits too.
I can't believe I'm being bogged down by results when I should be thankful for having friends like these.

2011-07-17T23:35:00.000+08:00

I feel myself crumbling. So fake. Everything feels so fake.
Empty. Hollow. There is no essence, no purpose.
Why do I even bother in the first place?

Help.

2011-07-17T17:26:00.001+08:00

What is this I can't even do the first freaking question for Math Assignment fuck I am such an idiot I can't do this anymore.
I am going to die. I am going to fail in life and I am going to die.

2011-07-15T16:11:00.003+08:00

KMW is later, like 3 hours away, and I can't seem to bring myself to be excited about it. I feel so bogged down by all that has happened and it's just so stifling that I just don't see anything positive anymore. Got to learn how to stop crying. I'm going to just explode.
Hoping that my camera doesn't get confiscated.

2011-07-12T21:22:00.002+08:00

I am such a useless person. Can't even manage a pass in my exams for my BEST subject. I'm failing horribly at everything I'm doing. What the fuck is wrong with my life everything just isn't going right. I'm a failure. A disgusting failure. Can't do well in studies. Can't even get into the school team of a sport I've been playing for more than half my life. Can't even stay strong. So weak. So very weak.

The cracks are starting to show. The slightest pressure, the lightest of brushes. Shatter.

2011-07-12T19:08:00.000+08:00

And I find myself questioning my purpose in life as I fall apart.

2011-07-09T23:36:00.000+08:00

Omg stoops I wasted time watching Burlesque again. Hahaha. ONE MORE QUESTION OF CHEM TO GO I CAN DO THIS.

2011-07-09T18:24:00.003+08:00

Oh god what happened to draft blogger hahaha. There's been like some Google activity on it pssht why must they change things when nothing bad is happening to it! ):
Well okay the past week has been rather...trying. But must pull through. There were a couple of things, well, okay just two actually, that made me feel slightly better. One's about House Comm, where I felt rather appreciated. Like my efforts for Tarbet in RGS didn't go unnoticed. So I'll make sure that if I do get into House D for MT, I'll really do my best. It's gonna be an added commitment but I will not regret this.
And then there's JoSD which is gahhh haha I feel so excited about it. It's like some little secret pleasure I derive from daily life. Sometimes I feel like it's the only thing where no one can judge. It's just something done for fun. No pressure to do it to perfection, just doing your best, nothing to conform to, nothing to hold you back, nothing to push you over the edge. It's just...right. (:
Oh and another thing that made me happy was the Bio IHC thingy for Bio week where I answered one question heehee. Normally I'd be like sianz and not bother but idk what possessed me to raise my hand and answer the question. Correctly. Heh it was funny. And I got Reese's for answering the question! Omnomnom. :3

Had training today at RGS and although I didn't really talk to the juniors, it was nice seeing them and just being back. [Although we got scolded by some teacher in the GO for not greeting her. Wtp I didn't even see her I was going to run out the door to say hi to Dr Ng then she suddenly pop out of nowhere and repreimanded us for not greeting. Hello my back was facing you, you think I'm a chameleon ah my eyes can see behind me?]
Played against some Australian school called St Benedict's? Something like that. The players kept going "Go Benny!" throughout though haha cute. And omg they are damn gooooood! Their shots are mega accurate, even though we were playing with the mega lousy pole that always shifts around. They also had this little spray bottle and they practically abused it by spraying their faces and necks with water everytime they could haha super cute! Singapore weather is like really hot and humid for them [and even for us locals] but still, it was rather amusing. Oh and one thing about them is that they aren't rough players! It's like aggressive but not rough. Totally different from the school we played on Wednesday okay. [Shall elaborate later.]
Um, didn't really play very well. Shots were blech but whatever. I would think my moves and passes were pretty okay though! Like omg when I played GS in the last quarter I finally used my "signature" move haha dodgey-dodgey I miss doing that. And I did it twice and shot the ball in woohoo that made my day. (: And my passes for baseline throw-in improved too I feel happeh.

On Wednesday we played against this UK team and we won like 11-5 haha what a sad scoreline. It was 4 full quarters somemore! HAHA. Yeah anyway they are quite unfriendly lor my GD totally avoided eye contact with me then it's like omg I don't even want to be friendly to her. So yeah. And they are damn bloody rough okay they push. PUSH. It's not even the holding space kind of push but the omg-get-away-from-me-use-hands push! RAWR. There was this instance where I managed to tap a pass to the GD and it was a loose ball so I chased after it and I could feel the GD PULLING ME BACKWARDS to stop me from getting the ball I was like wtf is your problem bitch this isn't rugby! And the worst part was the stupid umpire didn't even blow for contact or obstruction or anything at all. Freaking hell. But in the end I still got the ball so muahaha take that.
And I think the best quarter I played was actually when I played WD, which was weird because haha it's like defence which I suck at. But communication between Shin, Akoo and me was good, and because we swapped around pretty well, the attackers got stuck a bit so they had to make forced passes which were mostly intercepted or went out. Hee. (:

My toenail finally dropped off and it looks funny now. I'm damn scared it won't grow back properly and the way it's shaped now, I think I have a pretty high chance of getting an ingrown toenail which is omg ew no please no. So I hope it grows out again. ): It looks so gross right now and it feels a bit raw. How did I survive playing today without stubbing my toe mans haha.
Speaking of which, last Friday I got scolded by this teacher for wearing slippers to school and nearly got a white slip. But then I lied and said I only wore slippers because of my cracked toenail haha. Which is totally not true because that day was DSA trials day and I played later heehee but anyway not the point. The point was that the teacher was being super unreasonable because I totally did have a cracked nail and he was all "No, I don't see a cracked nail." and I gave him a wth look and brought up my foot to let him see HAHAHA. Then he acted all magnanimous and said that he would close one eye and that I need to have an MC for my cracked toenail. Whut no thanks I am not paying money to get a doctor to confirm that what I have is a cracked nail. It is a nail. It is cracked. Hence, it is a cracked nail. Woohoo Philo! He also mentioned something about how if he saw me wearing shoes when school reopens he would know I'm lying and whatever shiz like that. Ooh, scary.

Thursday was a pretty pekchek day for me, for reasons which I shall not disclose. But whatever. It's over I guess.

Tonight and Sunday night is my only free time! Had training today and went out with my family until damn late, then I still need to watch Fairy Tail and one ep of BOF. I'm not gonna watch it in one shot like You're Beautiful, but like one ep per week as part of my anime-watching-time. XD Then tomorrow going for some RC briskwalking event at Marina Barrage which lasts until 1plus, then there's WNC Finals after that! :D

Going to finish my Chem Energetics today and then Math tomorrow! (:

2011-07-06T22:57:00.001+08:00

Who was I kidding huh? Of course you'd be mad at me over my Chem results. Because I failed so fucking badly. And here I was thinking that maybe just this time, you'd actually not mind it that much because you saw me practically fall to pieces in front of your eyes. You told me to stop. Right there and then. Stop. I had to breathe. I had to pause my life and just rest. Rest. What? Did you think that your daughter was capable of doing well for a paper like that with only minimal studying? Fuck no. Your daughter isn't a genius. She's an idiot. Now you know. A giant. Fucking. Brainless. Idiot. Did you think that I wasn't disappointed by my results? Even if I hadn't really studied all that I could have, because I'm such a weakling, it hurt me. It still hurts. You may now think that your daughter is brainless, but I still have a heart. It hurts, so damned badly. Since when did failing in something you once thought was one of your strengths not hurt? You don't know how I tried, so badly, to stop myself from just tearing when I saw my score? I don't even know how I managed it. I wanted to cry, curl up into a ball, and just let myself rot to death. I felt so damned worthless and yet I had to smile, I had to hide, I had to laugh at my own silly mistakes like they were nothing. I had to lie. To myself and everyone else.
And so, in a while, like after PW [Work is never-ending. We can never rest. We are youths with no youth to enjoy. We are like ancients, the look in our eyes revealing a weariness, jadedness, far surpassing what is expected of our age.] I am going to curl up in bed and cry. Cry until I bleed myself dry. And then I shall wonder if you were to enter my room at that very moment, would you, like a week ago, tell me to stop, that I had to rest, or would you stare at me, disgusted that I should be so weak as to shed tears over something that is, in your eyes, my fault. As it always has been.